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I haven't really posted much yet, so ... Hello all! :)
I'm sharing this because I thought it was interesting and so I can refer back to it later. I don't know what to make of it (or even if it's relevant), and for now I'm not trying to figure it out. I'm just going to follow the string to see if I can see where it goes - maybe there's a Cheshire cat on the far end of it. (^_^)
For over 15 years I've been exploring avenues to discover the greater reality. None of them have led me to any realized success. The most success that I can claim is a recurring dream where I am (much to my dismay) back in school. It's the first day of classes and I lost my schedule. I wander about the school aimlessly until I wake up. Great.
Anyhow...
At some point I've decided that it would be helpful to ask for NPMR guidance and assistance in my exploits. Unfortunately, this was also unsuccessful (at least at my level of perception). Now, I'm moderately successful and a very independent PMR engineer (I love it here - all the buttons, smells, flavors, shapes, switches, levers...but I digress), so it was difficult for me to "stoop down" and ask for assistance from another PMR inhabitant, but I did. Fortunately, said helper was kind enough to look into the perceived lack of NPMR communication with my guide(s). I was told that there was indeed some disconnect, but that a change was initiated on my behalf and that a better match would be sought for me. That a consciousness would sign up (I presume you sign up for it) to be a guide and then not pay that much attention is a bit upsetting to me, but then again I'm sure I don't have the whole picture. Moving along...
When I was told that "they are looking for a better match now", I thought "I hope it's someone with a sledge hammer, because apparently I'm a hard hat".
A couple of days later, I was hit with the hardest case of the Flu and acute bronchitis (that's a lung infection for those lucky enough not to have dealt with it before) that I've had to endure in 10 years. That was 4 days ago. Now, I'm not blaming any invisible boogie man for making me sick. I'm sure if there was a connection, I consented to it one way or another. At any rate, it doesn't look like it's going to kill me, which I can appreciate.
On the first night, I experience chills and episodes of what I can only describe as fever dreams. Strangely lucid fever dreams. I slept on and off in cycles of an hour or so all night long. Drifting back and forth and not really being focused in either place (at first). It was almost like my awareness was swinging on a pendulum until the last episode where it felt like I reached the apex of awareness "over there". In this particular dream, I was looking for a bottle of water (I assume my body was thirsty). At the end of the dream, it became apparent that the events of the dream were just a little theater to facilitate an introduction. In the end, I was introduced to not one individual, but a small group working together. I would classify them as "modern tribal", whatever that means. They seemed very welcoming, but didn't do much beyond conveying a greeting.
There were no more fever dreams that night or the next. I've been focusing my energy on getting better and I seem to be recovering rather nicely.
I have since then had a few similar episodes of strange sensations of what I can only describe as a weak "bilocation of awareness". I could sense my body in the bed, but my "visual" awareness was "away". I was driving it like a camera on a dolly. Neat.
Have you ever been so sick that you just laid there, almost catatonic? Motionless, not really focused on anything because the illness is so overwhelming that it blocks out just about everything else? I was actually not "afraid" of anything during this time, because anything was better than were I was ( I was actually expecting to cough up a lung at some point, and not in the figurative sense). That's how I felt when I had these experiences. It's almost like I experienced a forcefully induced a state of "fearlessness" and "detachment".
Like I said, I have no idea if any of these items are related, but it was interesting enough to recount here.
Cheers.
-Kai
P.S. I didn't mention any names because I didn't ask for permission to talk about it, not because I want to withhold them. I don't mind either way.
_________________ ------------------------------ http://www.bookofkai.com
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