Sorry for yet another meditation thread, I suppose you guys are getting tired of repeating yourself to every 'beginner' that comes here every 20 days asking almost the same questions.
I just finished my first meditation today (Doing 2-3 daily). I'm doing it regularily for about 10 days now. Did it before also. So one can say I passed the 'first step' of it. I more or less know what to do, or better yet - what NOT to do. I remember first time I started meditating a year/two ago, I felt clueless what to do, and there where more expectations.
I have a few techniques that I change during the beginning of my meditation. Maybe someone can find them useful, so this thread won't be just me asking questions.
First I repeat AUM in my head (Not the AUM Tom's referring to, it's rather a mantra I picked up when studying yoga) in sync with my breathing (Inhale ... and while exhaling 'saying' in my head 'AUM'). Then I switch to a football, rotating it, changing colors, "zooming" in and out (details), then I shift that ball to different geometrical figures. Like cube, etc. Then again some AUM mantra. All while lying down.
I do these switchings, because I noticed it's easyer for me, less random thoughts enter my consciouss mind.
After about 10 minutes of those, i slowly shift to 'nothing'. Blank space in my head. Few occasional thoughts get through, but it's easy to let them go. After about 5 minutes in that state... (15 minutes of not moving physically at all).. some thoughts start entering my mind, and those are ... unusual. It's usually where I stop meditating.
It's like I'm 'forgotting' I have a body... like my awareness drifts from physical world (including my body) ... and I feel, well .. some people here say they feel vibrations, I'm not sure if that's those vibrations people are talking about, but I feel like I'm .. oscillating (yeah i know.. vibrating) or something like that. Up and down in short bursts... sometimes my eye's start's to behave like in REM (more or less). - But Im not sleeping, or dreaming .. I'm 'aware' of 'nothing'. Sounds completly dissapear (humming of a fan on my computer).
I'm not sure if that's just 'fear' of the unknown.. like my mind doesn't know what's happening, and want's to get away from it. Revert back to active 5 sense mode.
And when I get back to 5 sense mode, I feel unusually rested and calm.
Btw, a little note..before my meditations, I was pretty anxious. Like, I always had to do something with my leg, or hands... move them around... I don't do it anymore, at least not to the extent I did it before. I'm more calm. Which is nice.
So guys and girls, since this is my current state of progress, and I know that there are more skilled people here then I am, I gotta ask the question: Is this all a step in the right direction ?
I probably needed to experiment some more before asking this question, but since this started happening a day or two ago, I'm kinda happy that there is some progress. But apparently, I need some guidance to know if that's progress or my ego messing about with me, or something else.