I would question the value of the perception of "deep states" and not use this as a measure of anything
As in before the relationship, I had no problems of relaxing and letting my brain fall in to sweet blankets of synchronization.
Now I find myself being frustrated not being able to let go of the noise (left brain thinking)
Being in that state makes it easier so see things more clearly, effectively and beneficially.
if you are a person of significance, quality wise, life at your age should be rather an opening to the storm of life, rather than quiet, and meal of many food groups and lots of indigestion
Now I would like to question how you know how my life should be at this age. I have always found myself not being interested in many things as others in my age. Now there are probably many reasons for this. I have experienced a very stormy life so far.
I am sure she gave you lots of data and intensity to process, and drew the monk off the mountain, and something likely intended this for you - and she likely benefited from this as well
you provided her a test, and she provided you a test
Yes, very much data. It would seem that I haven't processed it all yet.
now, if you told me you married the girl and had a kid with her...perhaps we would be having a different conversation - did you behave honorably? did you break a promise? if not, let it go
Does marriage make it different? Do you love someone more just because you are married? I have never experienced anything touching me so very deeply as this. If I would know how, I would let it go right away.
strong FWAUs have a tendency to take on project relationships, which I would advise against - would spending your life on this lost cause be the best, highest use for your incarnation?
that being said, spending a life trying to care for and heal someone with profound weakness, is not a waste of a life, if you are bound by duty, through the system choosing you, or through a commitment you have made
Very interesting that you speak of this. I remember thinking much about this. I couldn't really make up my mind if I would spend my life trying to help her or not. What triggered the decision was a situation that made me realize that my incarnation probably has another meaning than trying to help this, as you say, lost cause.
also beware of girls that are super hot, but crazy or have severely deficient left hemispheres or frontal cortexes - this is trading the pleasure of 2 months of sexual excitement, for a lifetime of misery, or other wreckage - people of similar profiles should mate...they will enjoy the same stuff
looks to me that your guardian angels set you up to be innoculated against the high entropy sex trap
Yes, she is hot. In my eyes superhot, because simply having her in front of me made everything look so much more beautiful.
It was never about sex, even though I felt strongly attracted to her in this way. She was raped. Sex was not a priority for her, it was rather otherwise. I respected this.
this of course has nothing to do with quality, which is operating on a separate paradigm - persons with little mental faculty or impulse control, can just as easily be low entropy, in what matters.
the dumb crack addict faces the same paradigm of right and wrong decisions in that arena of play, and may be playing better than you or I regarding what really matters- and you will recall you-know-who said prostitutes and drunkards are often closer to the kingdom than the priests.
so get that girl off your mind, and start to visualize with intent, the suitable girl that will drag you up, in every way, rather than drag you down, and think about what she is doing now, and where you might find her practising her low entropy arts, and how will you recognize her.
how do we recognize low entropy in another?
Thank you for these last ones kroeran. I will reflect about this. I appreciate it.