well, actually, we are talking about you
one way or the other, you are going to have to figure out how to pay the rent
maybe you will live in your mom's basement or spend your twenties navel gazing and let your girlfriend traipse off to work, or live on cheques from your dad, or try to get a band off the ground while on the dole
you can escape the corporate or government rat race by setting yourself up off grid (rare), or doing something along the lines of self employment (less rare)
who is paying for your lunch today and the roof over your head?
I have been working at various warehouses (driving forklifts and so on) for the past 5 years. The longest was 3,5 years at the same place. I quit that job and moved to a city far away because of the girl. I lost the job in that city, and have now been traveling across the country, searching for jobs, going on interviews and so on.
I have no money left, I can't pay my bills (phonebill, car-loan, laptop-loan). My police record makes it almost impossible to get a new job, the system has changed massively here in sweden the past 5 years. I was yesterday in stockholm on a two-hour interview for a wellpayed forklift job. It went really well, except in the end where I had to sign these papers of not having any crime-records and so on. So I lost that one. My mother has always tried to steer my life, and I have learned that asking for money from her would be kind of what some people call selling the soul. My father is an an alcoholic, lives in the states, and I have no contact with him.
My economic situation is worse than ever. I am at the point where I am trying to evaluate what I really want in life.
I would rather go "Into the wild" than living at my mothers house. At the moment, I am at my sisters, and she and her boyfriend are paying for the food. I told her yesterday, that I am not planning on staying anymore.
maybe the culture is different in Sweden...if you do it right, you are eventually going to meet a girl that you can't live without...and marriage (a life contract) will be important to her
I have visited the states several times and I would say that the culture is totally different. Not as many religious people here, so people don't care about not having sex before marriage and stuff like that. And in my opinion, if the love is strong enough, why would you need papers saying stuff that should be obvious.
marriage is grounded in the PMR reality that women have their power in youth, and men have their power in age, and marriage creates a life cycle unity of interest and order, to what becomes very disorderly without the life contract, and increasingly so according to your quality
women create this power asymettry by preferring men who are same age or older, which gives them a large pool to mate with when young, and an increasingly small pool to mate with when old - drilling down in this area of thought is awkward
without the contract, the male, who is relatively powerless when young, consumes the youth and power of a series of females, leaving a trail of heartbreak and or broken commitments. Many women are left in middle age as single mothers, wondering what they did wrong. Naivite of the young female you are shacked up with does not get you off the hook.
Even without higher ruleset considerations, serial monogamy or being a seducer, beyond a certain point, is a very superficial, empty way to live your life, and setting aside the heterosexual dynamic, even same sex couples generally move toward a life commitment.
there is no reasonable alternative to the marriage configuration intention, for a person of quality, for middle age, at least that I have come across.
The power asymetry theory is interesting. That would explain a lot. But it doesn't cover it all...
Still, you shouldn't have to use a contract so ensure safety. Then the marriage is based on fear, and doomed in my opinion.
Edit: Do you not see that you are culturally affected with your picture of marriage?
Edit again: Asking for marriage is only a symbolic gesture of "I would like to spend my remaining days with you, because I love you. Lets show our social surroundings this, and let's fit in to society"
And edit again: I wonder where this comes from, that if I do it "right" (define this please :P) I will meet a girl that I can not live without (assuming that you mean that I can not be without her because I love her so, and not because of fear of being alone or other fears), and marriage will be important to her. My counter answer is, if I do it right, I will find a girl that I can not live without, and she will not care about signing a life contract because her love is equal to mine.
Do you see what I mean? Don't get me wrong. Maybe because of pure amusement, I would like to ask the girl I love for marriage. But then the symbolic gesture would be different.