Thank you all. It really does feel as if I am in the right track. Just very happy right now, and I can tolerate waiting to study, after all I have bills I have to pay first..

Now back to Gnaural =)

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Traveling towards the home of high-distilled pure crystalized loosh, to become Love.

It's probably not important, but try to forgive your stepdad, appreciate whatever he may have done for you in the past, and set aside your disappointments, at least appreciate what he has done for your mom, and accept his weaknesses

Experience the power of doing good to those that even curse us...as per you know who

When you are talking to him, accept that he is an Order and Discipline guy, so use that language with him, and don't freak him out with "third order" stuff.

When you get to the point of someone saying, WTF happened to you, MBTOE will be fulfilling part of it's purpose through your intent


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Do a search as well here on OBE4U.

viewtopic.php?f=20&t=6741

or check out Reecejones87 on YouTube...lucid dreaming for beginners...and beyond

When you finally hit the books, you will be like a racehorse getting on the track for the first time in the spring

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Does this PMR make my butt look big?

So many good tips in this thread. Don't know how to have time to answer them all.

I guess you are right. He and my mother started a relationship when I was 10 or something. We all moved to a house when I was around 12, and he pretty much immediately became "the boss" in the house, demanding full respect for him. I was like "you are not my father", well you know the drill. He is pretty old, around 70 now, and he is an oldschool guy. I wasn't allowed to have friends over if it wasn't on weekends and so on. I became very much rebellic against him, which of course made things worse, especially when he has been in the police force for his whole life, I started partying, smoking, spraypainting on walls and trains and so on (graffiti is still something I appreciate very much to do, I still do it, but on legal walls nowadays. It sooths the creative mind, I also do regular paintings. Just love the art of it). Anyways, I guess you are right. My mother got rid of my alcoholic dad and got pretty much the opposite, and he has treated her nice.
Speaking to him in the way you are talking about is... I don't know, I tried this. He has made up his mind about me, even if we talk nice to eachother it seems like a game. He is very good in discussions, he has been a very skilled and wellknown interrogator.
Thank you very much for the OBE tips. My usual hemi-sync recordings just don't do much anymore, I get kind of irritated of the same old voices, the same old routines. That is why I'm experimenting with Gnaural now.
I was on a 10-day yoga course a few months ago, because of desperation of trying to get the girl out of my mind. The yoga is called Bikram-yoga. It is a tough kind of yoga, and it really does help one getting rid of the need of kicks and wants, kind of letting one feel okay no matter what. I learned to breathe correctly, reminded me much of the breathing you can hear yourself doing when falling asleep.
I have only once had a real near OBE-experience. I left my body, starting with my feet, releasing the body upwards. I was hanging with my non-physical body upside down, and I only had the very tip of my head left to release. At this point I was terrified, I chickened out. After this I woke up, and my pulse was very high. It was an intense experience, and I immediately regretted that I chickened out. After this I haven't experienced anything close to it. (Now that I think of it, I had a period when I didn't drink coffe, no sugar, not even juices. This may be the missing link) I remembered though, while having it, that it reminded me very much of when I was young, having high fever and lying in the bed watching TV. It was very weird watching the TV from above, knowing my eyes where watching from a straight view. Couldn't never figure it out untill the near OBE-experience. Probably I "was allowed" to leave my body because of the high fever. I wonder why this doesn't happen anymore even if I have high fever.
While talking about high fever, I had about 40 degrees celcius about half a year ago, for several days and it wouldn't go down. I also had an enormous headache. In desperation I tried listening to Hemi-sync, I started to sweat intensly, and after only 45 minutes my fever went down to 38,5 and my headache disappeared. I started wondering if the strength of the immune-system is dependent only of the mental state. Also, I had high fever many times last year, about 4 or 5 times. I had enormous economical problems and was very stressed from time to time, worrying about everything. What do you say about this?

Thanks again for the OBE-tips. I will check your thread out and check some of the youtube videos out.

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Traveling towards the home of high-distilled pure crystalized loosh, to become Love.

skorum - Your step father will respond to you when he sees a change in you at the being level not just when you are nice to him now and then. That is the difference between lowering your entropy and just using your intellect. When you lower your entropy it won't matter to your ego what your step father's response to you is. You won't need his feedback to be nice to him.

I have missed this drama. Reading backwards now.

How nice with a happy ending, though!

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Johan

She needs some form of "professional" therapy, the only thing you can do is to help her see that.

People like her learn to instinctively distrust kindness in people. It enters her mind the same way as manipulation and abuse, and that's what she reacts to. Kindness and warmth feels like trigger signals for manipulation. The circuits for love and intimacy are completely burnt out.

All you can do is show that people really can be kind and loving without selfish motives.

For a young guy that is starved of intimacy this is f*cking difficult, because you will confuse everything. You were still necessary in her life as an example that there are guys who are nice.


If she has been forced for so long, her soul and body has sort of grown into a deformed position. Broken bones can not be healed in an instant, they have to be fixed in position and allowed to heal slowly. In these cases it might be necessary to brake the bones first, so they can heal right. That's where the pain comes from.

This can be a finger of warning when "fixing" people. If you are even slightly trying to make a bargain by getting a "fixer-upper", ego is at work, and will stomped down.


You don't know at the time what role you are playing.

Lena said it well.

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Johan

Desiring to leave the body seems symptomatic of rejecting the challenges of the physical experience. Well, the whole point of the physical experience is to learn to deal with the challenges.

If you're using cheats in your video game, the scores don't actually mean anything, do they?


Diet, exercise, and attiude. You get out what you put in.

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Johan

I see this problem a lot. My father is like that. He is open to various new ideas, likes to listen to NDE stories, likes to listen when I tell him what I have recently read, but he has difficulties to relate all this stuff with his life. It seems, he has a belief that only "super people" can be loving, only special people can have healing abilities and that he is just an average guy, who has done so much mistakes, that he has no chance to become better. It is really sad to see how people do not allow themselves to be better because they believe they do not deserve feeling good.

It's like some kind of self punishment of the modern society. In school years kids try to pretend cool and play "bad guys" and "bad girls" .. and then they actually start believing that they really are bad, and that life sucks. Word "love" has lost most of its meaning, so many people relate love with sex, sentiment, something "cheesy" but not with acceptance and evolving. Just look at avatars in many message boards, chats, games - so many "cool bad-ass"-ness... I see the difference because for some years I have lived in a country with a different culture. And when the mainstream western culture reached our country, I was shocked. Many parents were. But now it's part of our culture. We gained freedom of USSR, but we lost important part of us.
Who knows, maybe that's also a part of some plan for our "learning lab".

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In order to understand recursion, you must first understand recursion.

I see your point.
The other day I was walking around, feeling different, looking at things as if I saw them for the first time except from a different perspective, like even the subway-station seemed beautiful and alive in a weird way. Watching the sky was too much, it was all moving and I thought I was going to faint so I tried not to do that. My head was trying to make sense of it all, but I decided not to because it felt impossible, it felt as if it doesn't matter how much I use my intellect. Then something really weird happened, I was being, just being. And the thoughts I had where different, just kind of slower, but right, in every way. This whole time my intellect was trying to hop in, and soon as it did it felt wrong because receiving the higher thoughts or whatever they are called felt as if this is the right way to be.
Every muscle was relaxed even though I was in awake state, and I was naturally just smiling without even trying, all the time. This lasted for a while and disappeared and my intellect was ruling my thoughts again. I learned that I need to stop this crappy intellect thinking process.
So there is still more to learn before I can go around receiving my thoughts in the being level, making the right choices.
It is so weird because my intellect tells me that I can only do this by lowering entropy, at the same time my intellect is in the way for me to be in the being-state.
Do you guys walk around all the time in being-state? Or does it just come sometimes? Or can you switch around as you feel? Or is it super-synchronized so your intellect works only in the way it receives information from the being-state? I mean I don't think you should kill your intellect, just not having it rule any thoughts. This is hard for me to explain my questions..

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Traveling towards the home of high-distilled pure crystalized loosh, to become Love.

Yep, I know just what you mean. I can stay in that state for long periods of time if I turn off my internal dialog. It's hard to do consistently unless you practice. It's like meditating while you are awake.

I've mentioned a similar experience here:
viewtopic.php?f=25&t=6621

that's awesome feeling, as if all of my being knows what is the right way to "be" in this world, but my intellect finds so many excuses to act another way. Like: "oh, that's ridiculous, you would just look silly if you do the idea which just came to your mind, you have so many "normal" work to do. Stop staring around and go shopping now, or you'll be late for bus."
But now I know, this "switch" is inside of me, and I can turn it on now and then.

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In order to understand recursion, you must first understand recursion.

Nice to know that it seems to work same for other people as well.

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Traveling towards the home of high-distilled pure crystalized loosh, to become Love.

the approval of the father image is a powerful thing, and seeking this approval, if it is not forthcoming, is behind the motivation of some over achievers. He may or may not be a father image for you psychologically.

you are in the middle of the prodigal son scenario, and how it will work out is still an open question. You will need to do the work and push through many difficult moments. He is likely reserving judgement. Its possible that he may never forgive you, but that's not your problem, your only responsibility is how you treat him.

the likely scenario is that you will become robust and a pillar of society, and he will grow old and frail, and during that phase, you will have many opportunities to repay the debt you owe him and thank him for his service to you through loving action, and you will be happy to do it. Again, when you are in your mother's home, your demeanor and actions, if low entropy, if you have embraced better Intent, should trigger in their minds..."WTF Happened To Him" (WTFHTY).

The extent to which you are in debt to him, let alone your mother, will become clearer when/if you have children yourself. This extent will remain unknown to you unless you decide to marry someone with children from another man, and then you raise that boy yourself, and even though you are feeding him and providing a roof and an orderly environment, he says to you "you are not my father!" ; - )

the irony in all this is that it is the brightest and most talented kids that are lost without a lighthouse, as the old lighthouses have become obsolete and are being turned off...and not being replaced. MBTOE appears to me to be AUM taking action to build a new lighthouse, with the latest whistles and bells.

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Does this PMR make my butt look big?

The relationship between step-parent and step-child is always going to be influnced by the genetical incentives of the situation. Basically, approval is not in the cards, and there is an incentive for the step-parent that the step-child fails as a demonstration that the biological parent was a mistake and the current mate is better.

I've heard of this pattern repeating itself in various cultures and to varying degrees, though less violently in Sweden. Small abuses in childhood can lead to huge problems in adulthood. The husband/wife-rolemodel may become so disturbed that the children are unable to form stable relationships in adulthood, which then causes this pattern to repeat itself for generations. Step-mothers/daughters are usually worse since daughters are more sensitive and the biological father is less observant of what is happening.

This pattern can really only be broken by a spiritually advanced step-parent, and if this is an older policeman, it's likely he has abusive tendencies to begin with.

Don't put anything in your life on hold waiting for approval from anyone.

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Johan

a close friend of mine was the brilliant lawyer (biological) son of a railway worker in a small isolated town, family intact.

the father and his brother were jealous or angry with the son that went away, and they withdrew their love, respect and approval for the son, which was made evident when he visited back home.

what then transpired was an apparent effort by the lawyer son to fail in his profession, in a perverted effort to win back the approval of his father...or at least that's how it looked to me.

if there is a suspicion of unprofitable influence from a parent or relative, I would suggest "friendly distance", especially for a young fellow trying to get established in all respects.

if one's life is unstable, and there are unprofitable influences outside of relationships of duty, I would suggest "unfriendly distance" from negative entities.

negative entities should only be engaged from a basis of unassailable mental, emotional and physical robustness, and only if one detects an opportunity for a spiritually profitable interaction, where the other person is open to influence.

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Does this PMR make my butt look big?