From another thread:
this whole thing of loyalty to old friends who are negative influences is something I struggle with.
as well as how to manage negative influences from family, and calibrating appropriate involvement
like...there seems to be a different ruleset for...
1) immediate family - parents, siblings, children
2) outer circle of family
3) old friends
and then the ruleset being different for someone who is emotionally robust vs someone in a state of instability
like the ruleset for Tom would be different than for myself lets say, especially when I was in my twenties, very unhappy and trying to figure things out
This rates a thread of its own, IMO.
I'll try to develop the topic a little here.
At any of the three main levels (sub-personal, personal, groups) there can exist ideas/thoughts/emotions/agenda (if you like, 'memes'), which are at cross-purposes to other 'levels' (sub-personal, personal, groups). These may or may not be justified, conscious, , unexamined, open to examination, unfair, even downright toxic.
A person outside of that meme is more likely to see with relative objectivity the problems bumping memes create ... and the general tack of this thread would be: what are the various kinds of issues and how to manage them...?
In general, of course, you try to draw attention to those (I'm really starting to personally have some discomfort with this expression:) relatively 'evolved' (ugh) structures and processes operating the memes and ignoring the worser ones, while offering competing sub-meme components, to, hopefully, be later incorporated. (Sorry to sound so abstract, but it seems to sum up the issue that way).
Personally, I have been in the position of supporting actor in unreeling dramas the primary theme of which is disputation between 'Wrong' and 'Wrong' (as an Iranian Imam once described the war between Iraq and the US, 1990 or so). And there may be many separate currents of 'wrongness' operating ... selfish or anti-social motives, inherited belief system structures, real psychological disorder, lack of guidance or good maps or sense of destination, etc etc...
Sometimes I find myself thinking: ".... M'okay. What might be the least horrid result
that can be brought about here?"
That sounds just terrible. Yickch!~