another way to look at this is that you get born, which is assignment of your IOUC which is constrained by the big ruleset to your sensor platform which is constrained by the local PMR ruleset. The shifting of datastream to the sensor platform begins before birth and is not complete until late toddlerhood, on average.
Then you have this period of entraining the physical body and emotions to the physical and FWAUian environment, interacting with stuff and other IUOC avatars. Hand on stove...don't do that twice. Hit another sensor platform, get hit back.
beyond toddlerhood, in childhood, most discover at the mental level the more subtle PMR rulesets such as short term pain for long term gain, logic and scientific method, and discipline which permits translating this ability to connect the dots into profitable action.
a few don't master this aspect of incarnation and require other sensor platforms to constrain their day, i.e. prison guards or parole officers.
The IOUC/FWUA/Sensor Platform configuration that masters the physical and mental rulesets is however still incomplete. What is described is the competent sociopath. I am sure we each know of and have interacted with such persons...devoid of autonomic/organic empathy.
So, physical entrainment begins in toddlerhood, mental entrainment largely initiates in childhood, but empathy entrainment and the higher ruleset stuff normally begins in teenagehood....very roughly speaking...its an over simplified model.
The core of the theory is that in some way, humans and all that live are subject to this higher ruleset of empathy. While there is an emotional aspect to this, this intuitive experience of feeling the pain and joy of other's experience, that empathy informs our intent and decisions regarding these other FWAUs running around.
From a PMR aspect we attach this label "love" to this paradigm...and it sort of overlaps with infatuitive, filial, maternal/paternal love in many ways, though the english confusion over this one word is not helpful.
So, as a toddler, we may be attracted to the idea of touching the stove out of curiosity, we do it, feel negative feedback, and create a rule for our personal Theory of Physicality (TOP I).
As a child, we learn to save our allowance to obtain objects that we want, and we learn the futility of blowing our allowance on candy or gambling it away playing marbles or something, and create rules for our Theory of Practicality (Top II).
In teenage years, we shoot a bird or we bully someone in school, we save a turtle on the road or stand up for someone being bullied, and we experience feedback, largely emotional and after the fact. Most of us experience positive feedback from empathetic intent->decisions->actions, and most of us normally configured experience negative feedback from non-empathetic egoic intent->decisions->actions.
The astute begin to connect the dots and think, well, that felt nice, or that felt bad...as a separate mysterious "erogenous zone" operating independently of physicality or practicality....i.e. sometimes an action might physically be uncomfortable or even hurt, and be dangerous or not practical...but we do it nevertheless and harvest this higher ruleset positive feedback, which also then according to Tom slightly rewires us on the fundamental level making us more efficient on the level that counts in the eternal paradigm.
So our being changes, our quality improves just a little bit, and this changes our decision tree over time. At the mental level we start to construct our Theory of Love (TOL), which put together with TOP I and TOP II = our Theory of Everything (TOE). It should probably be (toe) or something to distinguish it from the specifically physics context of a TOE.
So while there is an emotional, or para-emotional aspect to this process, it is in a way sociopathology in the big picture...or the way of the fully informed and effective sociopath...in that...if this connection between all that lives is true, if positive feedback is true...love=smart. It is not self sacrifice...it only appears to be self sacrifice to the uninformed, in the shorter term.
12 step largely focuses on correcting this confusion about the interactive ruleset, understanding that a lot of addiction is driven by the causal vector of negative feedback which is in turn caused by non-empathetic intent regarding others
The irony of love is that it is like the monkey with his hand stuck in the coconut monkey trap, he has to let go of the banana, to get the banana. The grasping of ego for things and to control others, ironically, is what holds us back from winning the marathon of profitable interactive relationships and getting approval from "the system" to move forward materially.
Loving other centered intent and action toward boss, colleague, client, is the tried and true path to material wealth, and the Nazarene talked about this.
Wealth is not a thing to be grasped, it is something to be created cooperatively by groups through honest interactive exchange and contracts, and this is why the higher ruleset is so closely aligned with prosperity, and why ego and fear is so closely aligned with isolation and scarcity.
so with physical, pragmatic and poetic competence, we become fully human according to our design, completing our purpose, and ready for the next level.
Does this PMR make my butt look big?