pondini wrote:
Ted Vollers wrote:
Randy,
You should develop a habit of doing a search engine search when you 'wonder' about something. A search for "measure empathy scale" on Google returns nearly 6 million hits and this among the first
http://www.kaaj.com/psych/scales/emp.html as well as references to scholarly articles. By refining the search, searching within the search, you might find exactly what you refer to.
Ted
i doubt it is intentional but that sounded kinda mean:(
for me personally I enjoy the novice vs occasionally-grouchy-zen-master relationship that I have with Ted, but this interaction is of course is about you and Ted, and I don't need to get into the middle of it...but I suppose I will
I see the above interaction as blunt coaching, and I have actually recently asked Ted to give me direct feedback on anything he cares to comment on, in plenary or otherwise, and in your heightened sensitivity/awareness you may be picking up on the abrupt change of interaction.
more generally, on the level of "life hacks", when you have someone of significance constraining your decision space, like a spouse or boss lets say, it can be efficient to invite direct feedback to intensify the benefit of their observations on you, and to deal with issues, unspoken resentments, and to deepen your cooperation for mutual win win basis benefit
for those exposed to the style of zen masters and the egyptian desert monks that predated modern monasticism, Ted's style is a page taken right out of those books and reflects that love is not necessarily a thing of pleasing words and self esteem boosting
the Nazarene warned to beware of becoming like the above ground-tombs, white washed on the outside, and full of worms and awful things on the inside
that being said, sometimes Ted can appear to be quite harsh with rowdy newcomers...its not clear to me if this is an effective forum filtering mechanism or if Ted would be more effective with a softer or at least more polite but firm approach, closer to Tom's style, specifically with newcomers...I really don't know. Perhaps somebody has to be the bad guy to impose order.
my dad the cop said you either reemed someone out with a warning, or gave them a ticket with gentle words, but giving someone a ticket grouchily was high entropy...or words to that effect.
And Ted is the only planetary FWAU willing to take on this thankless task, so beggers can't be choosers.
Part of the proposed forum ruleset (not yet adopted) is that all challenges to management should be humbly submitted by PM to Ted, and sorted out in private, following the Pauline gospellian guidance on disputes among peers...try first to sort things out in private
a failure of satisfaction in this regard would then be bumped up to a PM to Tom, rather than creating a distracting drama in the open discussions...though PMing Tom is not something I have ever done nor would I promote for this purpose
this is how things are handled in professional organizations
Once Ted is ready, he may choose one day to create a forum advisory board, retaining Chair and control, to help with this sort of thing and introduce an element of democratic legitimacy to board governance, and to ensure an ecology that will persist
then the protocol would be for the Board to deal with disputes regarding management rather than having to resort to tasking Tom's bandwidth with this