Thank you very much for your detailed reply, Randy.
"you have to find your crowd"...and part of that is seeking and courting a boss or company or institution that has a high enough QoC behavioral bell curve to tolerate your "weirdness", or they are weird like you are...or you have to be so frigging productive, they are willing to overlook your weirdness - best to have both
I have been thinking about this before for a while. The problem within the German economic rule-set is [I wouldn't call it a 'system' - because basically it's just a bunch of 'rules' that people arbitrarily came up with and that go unquestioned ever since...] you need a certain degree to work at a job that matches your QoC - even if you are talented and know everything you need to know. There has to be a degree
. This is how it works. I know that in the Anglo-American economies things are a little different. That is, if you have the skill to do the job - you can do the job
. But here in Germany it is not that way. You can not even show that you would
have the skills - since you will not be invited to a job interview if you cannot show your degree upfront
Now that leads us back to the degree-question: Where to get that? At university... So, basically in order to find that 'sweet
spot' - and not just any spot to go with - one would have to go through the mills just to be able to get a job interview
and then show some staff-manager that you have the skills you had before you threw five or six years of your valuable life-time away to memorize crap you will not need at your future job anyway. I mean, let me study by myself
on one subject for five years and you will have an expert... without degree. ;)
I gave that whole university thing yet another
go - in terms of thinking about it - and the only possibility I could imagine to accept to wrap my head around just to get another job
later on would be economics because it offers the most practical and less belief-system ridden content - although it holds a lot of highly questionable paradigms... But without getting a degree there is not the slightest possibility for me to get a job that offers a QoC that even remotely resembles mine - at least here in Germany.
All that lead me to the consideration of a Hagakure-style work ethos - which I actually didn't primarily see in fearlessness but surrender
to one's 'liege lord'. ;)
'If one were to say in a word what the condition of being a samurai is,
its basis lies first in seriously devoting one's body and soul to his master.'
so I am saying, figure out how to pay the rent in a practical reasonable way, that is relatively harmless, the usual free exchange of useful products or services, without going overboard into miserliness or love of money, so that you free up your attention for the higher things, which is difficult if you are worried about how to pay for your kids dental bill. The higher things also include using your worklife as a canvas of the higher arts, the how rather than the what.
The whole thing really turns into a relatively delicate balancing act. Even more if we take questions about QoC at a workplace into consideration. ;) I guess, I have always been looking for straight forward answers - so that I get to do
stuff. Hence the decision of becoming a monk
which reflects pretty much what you wrote here:
A monk is someone who chooses the third order, and makes war with the first and second. The teaching and example of Tom, (and Judaism) is that we can have it all, it is all about pleasure, but this is not hedonism, it is about sustainable pleasure maximized across your lifetime, and the lifetime of your higher apparently eternal self.
I was reaching into other thinking in this regard...Tom's guidance is more about dropping in than dropping out. Part of being ordinary, in things superficial and visible, is to stick a silver spike through ego, and defeat spiritual materialism....to borrow from Chogyam.
Trungpa's writings are a great help in developing a sober view on spiritual life and freeing oneself of spiritual materialism. [Have you read 'Work, Sex, Money'? Would you recommend it?] Either way you drop
has to be sustainable over a long period of time. Dropping out
isn't really possible at the moment for lack of quality [QoC] options to do so. I don't know if there ever will be a viable opportunity for larger numbers of people to successfully create a society that deals differently with the issues that make life so exertive at times. Also the perspective about 'dropping out' isn't really clear - what are you dropping out of - and where is the idea coming from that you
are not that
...? In my experience 'dropping out' often involves some ego-issues [feeling of superiority, inability to accept certain practical constraints etc.] Dropping in
, in my view, pretty much means sobering up and becoming a more mature person.
It was Chogyam's membership in the Boulder Chamber of Commerce that startled me out of the counter culture...like that other guy here that can't wrap his head around the quality of Tom's teachings, and the fact that he worked on missal defense.
Stuff like that can blow your mind. The problem is that you can only understand the meaning behind it as soon as you reached an equivalent QoC... ;) So long you just have to accept it as uncertainty. Or run away to still that apparent cognitive dissonance.
the real challenge is figuring out just exactly what is bothering you...where is the itch - in your twenties, there are normally about five or six to sort out...its very confusing, and difficult to isolate and dispense with each one.
I can very well relate to that. Since I am 17 [now I am 25] I have actively attempted to find out 'what exactly is bothering me'. ;) That lead me from dropping out of school, to going to Africa to do development aid, to going back to an economics school, to drop out again, to join a Vedantic Order and travel with the 'Master' through South-America, to going back to Germany to work in a bookstore, to go to university to study psychology, to drop out of university and prepare to becoming a monk - to chatting on some weird internet forum about the weirdness of professional life in PMR... ;) I learned a lot
through all this - but I feel I am still not there yet. Still haven't found out what exactly
is the issue. That's why I thought it be beneficial to develop an attitude of a samurai and simply work
. No matter what. Rather than blinding myself with this never ending search for resolving an issue that might simply dissolve itself once the right attitude toward practical life issues has been developed.
I suggest examining and testing each one of these separately
- taking egolessness too far, mental egolessness beyond core being egolessness
- inefficiently narrow financial decision space (Rich Dad, poor Dad)
-> No actual financial decision space [worthy of the name] at all...
- anthropological incorrectness (disconnect from R-complex and nature - paleolithicism)
-> I have my suspicions concerning what you mean by that - but could give me a short note an that? ;)
- aesthetic stress (living in an ugly messy environment)
-> Big time!
- social stress...are my buddies/family bringing me down, holding me back (Antony Robbins)
Familiy used to do that - until I got rid of them. ;) I told them not to contact me again if they were not willing to stop 'bringing me down/ holding me back'. Haven't heard of them since. ;) My friends are very supportive.
Thank you very much!