"The scale of data download you are seeing above is actually a first in a lifetime event for myself. This sort of counter-nihilist subversion can be very irritating to bystanders." ---I am not sure i follow your train of thought here. I have an inkling about what you mean to say but i would practice caution and ask for clarification.

I thought maybe you were giving me a little nihilist poke regarding the arrogance and perils of advice giving...and this was my push back...which was an error on my part - my bad!

_________________
Does this PMR make my butt look big?

Then my intuition served me well. By the way that's exactly what i wanted to do...which(as you demonstrated with your wisdom and mental balance)was an error on my part. My bad(hehe!)! I don't regret doing it though, it felt nice interacting with you. I deal with unstable people all the time in my everyday routine and i can say that it is soothing to have a conversation with someone that doesn't overreact over spilt milk.


Explain to me something though if you will. Why did you choose the word nihilist? Isn't that a person who is generally negative about everything and believes that all things are in vain?

I can understand that this will be the case for some people at some point. I have similar situations already despite my rather young age. ;)

I am really grateful for this advice you are sharing here. I read all kinds of books, spoke with all kinds of people and tried to figure out stuff by myself - but some of your advice simply goes beyond that. So I get a lot out of it. Usually, it seems that most people don't have a clue about what is important and how exactly they got to where they are. So they can share little of it and do it mostly out of:



People who stick to:



usually don't get into a life-situation anybody would consciously want to try to reproduce. So although listening to them is rather pleasant the actual advice lacks quality.

The real advice surely has to be motivated by empathy. Then it is natural. You see the blinders of someone else and out of empathy you slowly offer help. This kind of help is thus not motivated out of 'I know better - listen to me, son!' but of 'I see you have trouble - mind some advice?'



I think this is just the right way to express it: this is real counter-nihilist subversion - since someone cares and then goes through the trouble of sharing his experiences. Usually people give a *bleep* about how others do. So showing interest and then being motivated to help is countering that unuttered nihilism of 'nothing is real - everything is permitted'... ;)

'To free a person from error is to give, and not to take away.' Arthur Schopenhauer



They got divorced when I was six. Dad wasn't allowed to visit me and my sister [becaue of intervention by my mother] and then he died in a fire when I was 15. I saw him a few times in the years before. But I'm alright with that. At first stuff like that is hard to swallow but then you get to understand the lesson behind it - and get to see that millions of others have to deal with the same issues.

My mother blames me for not being able to live the life she allegedly wanted to live at some point. Now, of course her greatest trouble is to accept that I do live the life I want to live. And that - although she is of the opinion that I am intellectually gifted - have wasted my life thus far. Financial and social stability and respectability is the most important for her - so she can not understand that someone barters money for freedom.

That's the reason she severely tries to 'make me feel uncomfortable' which after having accepted her nonsense for long enough and helped her through two major psychotic episodes [one in which I had to organize compulsory hospitalization for her] I have decided to cut of communications with her - under the condition that as long as she just wants to harass me I am not willing to talk to her. Meaning: 'Mother, if you are able to put aside your shame, guilt, expectations and what else might be bugging you and just play the interested mother you are free to give me a call and have a chat.' But that's too big of a challenge for her. So I guess I will have to wait for that another few years. ;) [Just to make that clear: I have not cut of the ties with her 'because she gets on my nerves' but because this situation became unbearable.] But that, too - is fine with me. I learned to be self-sufficient from a really young age and built up other networks which serve as my family.

The only real trouble that I have to cope with stemming from this situation is that I have no one supporting me in pursuit of an education. Going to university costs a lot of money and usually students in Germany get financial state support - if their parents are not financially able to provide that. You don't get it - as in my case - if your parents have enough money [well paid teacher in this case married to a well paid bureaucrat] but refuse to support you. In this case you are left on your own and have to take on a student-loan and work to get enough money to even be able to visit a university. This was one of the main reasons I did not pursue this kind of education at the moment - because apart from the nonsense you actually have to learn at university to get that piece of paper - I have to make debt and work during my leisure time - to get that piece of paper that then 'proves that I'm worth it'... ;) Anyhow: I have now accepted this situation and will go through it as it seems to be a more economical way of planing my future stay here in the earth-life-system... ;)

_________________
"Beyond the gate of experience flows the Way,
Which is ever greater and more subtle than the world."

- Dao de jing, 1.

Nemo,

You might consider studying what interests you on your own. Some things are not unlearnable outside the university system. If you get sharp enough in your fields of interest, someone will come along to pay you for your services.

-Montana

To throw a wrench in the machinery, I offer: http://www.mises.org. It looks like a horrible site but there are many sides to all discussions and this may represent what is called the "austrian school".

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Austrian_b ... cle_theory


I will counter with this anecdotal video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GA8z7f7a2Pk

_________________
Johan

Yes, I have been doing that for the past decade. ;) But until now no one came to hire me for my expertise... :D I tried to explain this problem earlier on in this discussion: In Germany it isn't as easy to be hired or paid as it is in the Anglo-American countries. People here are conservative when it comes to education. So they expect you to have a degree of sorts to prove that you have successfully assimilated and have some knowledge about a given subject. Although everybody knows that most of the knowledge 'learned' at college is mostly irrelevant to a lot of jobs [at least those concerned with practical applications and solutions] the system isn't questioned. It's simply a rule in the German economy that you do not trust people without a degree - however brilliant they are - there must be something wrong with them. ;)

I came to accept this in the last weeks and now I have started to prepare to go back to university next spring to get that degree. The thing is you don't even get a business loan if you don't have it. 'How are you going to run your business?' 'Um, well, I have studied economics and business in high school and have been interested in them ever since. I know about business and if I need clarity upon a particular issue I will consult my successful business friends or a book of my choice.' 'We are sorry, Sir, you do not seem to have the qualification to run your little online-business.' ;) This is how it is. So I'll get that piece of paper, join some business minded fraternity, get a reasonably paid, respectable job, work there for a few years and then get myself the capital I need to start my own business. And in the mean time I will still have time to study what interests me.



Thank you for the links. I've heard about the Austrian school and read a little about it. After I finish MBT I will look into it a little deeper and see what they have to offer... ;)

_________________
"Beyond the gate of experience flows the Way,
Which is ever greater and more subtle than the world."

- Dao de jing, 1.

why do you need capital to start an online business?

consider trying out different things while you are going through school...like Bill Gates or the Facebook guy.

or follow the advice of the the father of the Amazon guy, and work for a few years in a top firm before branching out.

also consider that being the guy in charge is just a different set of problems, possibly worse ones

education+extreme competence+emotional maturity=power, which is what you really want, and being in a great firm may be just as effective as starting your own thing...a profoundly effective employee controls his boss, not the other way around...so this is another path to freedom.

I think you also may need to either leave Germany and go work for apple or something, or figure a way out to exploit a weakness of the German culture (=service a gap)...being the one eyed man in blindville, so to speak.

maybe once you switch from the what to the how....these questions will become less important

_________________
Does this PMR make my butt look big?

As always: Thanks for your advice. ;)

Last week I made a huge step forward - and got a job at a financial firm as a stock broker and financial adviser. :) So there I have my chance. ;) Tomorrow is my first work day. So wish me luck. ;)

_________________
"Beyond the gate of experience flows the Way,
Which is ever greater and more subtle than the world."

- Dao de jing, 1.

Good luck Nemo. Remember that luck favors a prepared mind as Pasture said. :)
Love
Bette

_________________
All That Is
what is?
Consciousness.

Thanks. :) That Pasture is a smart cookie... :P

_________________
"Beyond the gate of experience flows the Way,
Which is ever greater and more subtle than the world."

- Dao de jing, 1.

Nice. Commission sales is half way between employment and self employment...performance based.

Try to identify the smartest guy on the floor and court him as your mentor.

Work through the professional courses then sign up for a finance course at university or online, slowly chipping away toward a degree.

Pay very close attention to how you dress yourself...most people have a relationship with your suit, not you.

Meditate, follow Toms diet and dont forget who you are regarding intent, and let AUM worry about results - be worthy of results

Go in early and leave late, but don't let things slide at home

Read Anthony Robbins for motivation, Warren Buffet for strategy, the Wall Street Journal every day, Ed Seykota for trading mysticism, think and grow rich, how to win friends and influence people, dress for success, Early-retirement.org

Hunt clients where the prey feeds...gallery openings, golf, horse riding, wine events, polo, dog shows

Become an authentic friend with each client and be very very careful how you invest their money...study bear markets, keep things spread around, always have your nose in the air for fraud

I'll say this again, keep things spread around

_________________
Does this PMR make my butt look big?

i read this thinking tom had written it. i was very concerned he had either lost his ability to focus in the larger reality, or that he lost his ability to convey the answers he found there in a concise manner.

its not all bad though, toms son did a great job for a 20 y.o.:)

I am eagre to know whether in accordance with this moral code, or general MBT ethical preactice, the action of playing dating 'games' would be considred manipulation of another? I know this may seem a trivial issue perhaps in the grand scheme of things but it is one that I can really not get my head around. So for the purpose of greater clarity i will provide an example: You meet a girl who you quite like and you think the feelings may be recipricated although she is doing a good job of playing it cool; would it then be an intent of manipulation if upon recieving a text message from her you refrain from replying right away with the intention of 'playing it cool' so that she does not think that you are too desperate for her affection, and in turn becomes more interested in you? If you like the person with genuine intent, is shielding the nature of your true feelings or perhaps playing them down in order to provoke a subsequent, expected and desired reaction from the other party equal to an action of manipulative intent? That is my question and i believe it is a tricky one although Im hoping someone could shed some light on it? :) Thanks very much

what an astute and sensitive question!

there is of course no absolute right and wrong regarding behavior, and the more fundamental question to ask is what is your general intent regarding this girl, and is this intent consistent with her expectations

are you looking for a win win in this situation or are you looking to take something, and end up disappointing the other person

at a certain age, the ebb and flow of creating short term emotional attachments and figuring out how the sex thing works is appropriate and the gaming elements are understood by both parties, or are in the process of being entrained and mapped

[persons of lower innate quality and effective cultural firmware will be very locked down in terms of rules and caution in this area of their lives, even at a very young age - others will learn from their feedback and seeing teenage colleagues getting mushed by PMR and NPMR feedback]

at the older end of the normally singledom bell curve, the expectations and rules may shift, and parties learn how to signal expectations and negotiate - so the implicit ground rules for 16 will be different than for 26

its also one thing if you are "courting" a person from your area and culture, and something else if you are crossing boundries of social class, first generation immigrant nationality, religion where practised, or continents - signalling and negotiations is more complex

so this is the general context in my opinion based on lots of data regarding macro intent

what remains is tactics - I think to a certain extent, means do justify ends, if the girl is likely to not feel cheated with the end result and long term game, so a big part of this is doing an audit of her global intent

you have to ask yourself, what is her game, and is my intent consistent with it, or am I using deception to create an emotional trap, in order to extract sex, which would be constraining and manipulating her decision space, to get something for you, and take something from her

most importantly, what emotional feedback do you get from this particular behavior? MBTOE is not a thing of law, it is a model of how you are actually constructed

I think this general dating thing of not calling back right away has several levels. One aspect of it is that it is part of the cultural matrix of appropriate behavior and a way to signal if you have any impulse control. I always come back my little trifurcate model of primal, practical and poetic, especially with this.

So you see someone, and even before they talk, the primal attraction is establishing itself, or not, especially regarding the male viewing the female, and an initial interest is triggered. Beyond this, there is a whole mapping process that begins whereby the male is asking himself if this female is going to be worth the trouble and the female begins her due diligence...does he have a car, does he own or rent, how would he look in a tux at an alter....and so on, if there is an operational left hemisphere deployed, which may not be the case.

so not texting back can be part of this process of signalling that you know the social rules, have impulse control, it is an indicator of your level of pragmaticism or your left hemispheric and frontal cortex capacity - there is also the issue of each person asking the question of where this person is in the partnering market, value-wise.

we each have an implicit price in the mating market based on our physical appearance and our potential for bringing material goods into the potential partnership. Generally, men weight physical appearance more than money, and generally, women rate material potential more than physical appearance, or at least more so than men. Why this is the case and whether it is right or wrong is separate discussion.

so not texting back right away is part of this Arab market aspect of courting and establishing value in the eyes of our opponent - and the girl is in a way an opponent in this process, up to the point of an offer of marriage and acceptance,...

at which point, these swords are turned away from each other, and are turned upon the world, protecting each others back, for those with sufficient quality to adopt and stick to this historically proven configuration.

depending on your skill and personal confidence, you can also start "off roading" culturally, and take a more direct approach, and just tell her how you feel, and what you want, directly ask what she wants, with radical bluntness...stripped of attachment (in the Buddhist sense) and neurosis - but this is a question of tactics and how her firmware software is configured and whether communciation can be established at that level - people are fundamentally lonely standing behind all these games and false fronts, and radical honesty can be a powerful attractant, especially if the target is of low entropy and your intent is loving

the third leg of the stool is the poetic aspect of the potential liaison or match, and some FWAUs will be assessing the potential partner's Quality of Conciousness, sensitivity, and to some extent creativity which overlaps. Indicators of this aspect are creative credentials (working on a novel for example) and how the person treats animals or FWAUs in a lessor position in the PMR pecking order. That hot guy with the cool car who treats you nice but abuses his employees, dogs and waitress staff, will be abusing you 2 years into the marriage or shack up.

in the bigger PMR picture, this process, and how effective you are at it, is 100 times more important than you think it is

an effective eros match is a fountain of clean water that you drink from for as much as 80 years, and an ineffective match is like living your life from a poisoned water well in the desert - and the impact is like a pebble in a pond, reaching out into the family and community, and down the generations.

_________________
Does this PMR make my butt look big?