Would you be capable of participating in the extermination of an entire RACE of people (men, women, and children) so that your children could live in a bigger house and drive a better car?
You have to understand that a collectivist does not see killing individuals as something bad. To a collectivist, individuals are merely the cells of the great organism, which is society. To the nazis, the jews were perceived as a cancer on society, as selfish corrupters of the organism. They did not exterminate the jews for the sake of individual children and their comfort, they sought to exterminate the jews for the sake of the society as a whole. By getting rid of the cancer, the organism is restored to health. They saw allowing the jews to remain alive as irresponsible, like letting a malignant tumor stay in the body. It was out of love for the collective that they sacrificed themselves as individuals, as well as others. Once you are able to sacrifice yourself, sacrificing another becomes trivial.
The word love is not used for what you describe, it has nothing do with love. Behind all those positive terms you use, there were just rotting intentions. Control by fear and violence, hate, obedience or death, herd mentality, group dynamics of the lowest common denominator in terms of entropy, propaganda, and just pure evil. The intents and motivations were based on fundamental fear. The fear was revealed in multiple aspects on several levels.
When you say:
"Hitler did not manipulate the germans by fear, but by offering them the fantasy of a new, beautiful germany. Only those who did not accept this new ideal had to be manipulated by fear. The rallies thus served a dual purpose: to inspire AND to intimidate."
"You are wrong. They were unified by a common, positive goal, of a new and improved germany/world. If Hitler simply wanted to kill all the jews, he would have received very little support, if any."
There were many germans fiercely in favour of Hitler that also acted with loving intentions. Some of them worked in concentration camps. Few in nazi germany killed for the sake of killing. They killed for the sake of a better, more loving world.
It shows your level of understanding of how fear at the being level affects humans and their decisions. That you have reversed everything, by giving positive attributes to something which is one of the best examples of what fear can do in the history of humanity, it is not a simple lack of communication, but understanding.
Also, what Ted said.