I think we just see it slightly differently, and that of course is perfectly normal and great.
Him: I TOLD YOU NOT TO TAKE ANY MONEY FROM THE CUSTOMERS
Me: You did not. You even gave me the prices to charge
Him: ARE YOU INSANE? YOU ARE GOING TO RUIN MY GOOD COOPERATION WITH THESE PEOPLE
Me: Then you should have been more careful when you gave me instructions, i did exactly what you instructed
Him: :Bangs on the steering wheel: (I look at him with apathy drawn on my face) WE'LL GO BACK THIS SECOND AND YOU'LL GIVE THE MONEY BACK
Me: Ok Drive
That's what i mean by "reaching the same energy level" as them(It seems that i suck at expressing myself adequately). I could have easily cowered and say: "Yes boss, you are right boss", but no way! I was right, i knew what i heard and i trust my memory WAY MORE than i trust his little ol' fragmented one. So i stood my ground.
What would you have done guys how could that situation be handled better(assuming that you are right and sure of it)?
What I was trying to express is that situations such as the one that you are describing are the solution rather than the problem. Such experiences (regardless of if we respond in the absolute best or worst way) are
the means by which we grow. It is not just
a matter of trying harder. Making all the right choices in a situation is nice, but it does not (by default) beget growth. The experience itself is the instigator of growth. That is exactly why we are here having experience after experience. Intellectually formulating plans and analyzing such things can be useful of course, but the idea is that we don't really "get it" until we have been through "it" countless times... with different people, different results, different settings, at different stages in our path, in different lifetimes, from different perspectives, etc, etc.
Trying is by all means necessary and fully required for growth. I was not saying to not try. The idea that I was getting at is that it is pointless for a toddler to try to be an Olympic runner. I could spend the rest of this life absolutely focusing on nothing but being better, move loving, etc. However, when I pass on, I will have still only made a baby step (it might be a hair bigger I suppose)... there are still 100,000,000 + other experiences ahead of me that are necessary to grow further. I need
them to grow. I can't go past a certain point until those other experience come to pass. That is why "I" will come back not as "Justin" but as "Kim"... or "Mikey".. or whoever. Maybe my personality will be a bit more aggressive... or maybe more passive. I might be a yelling boss next time and spend that lifetime trying to grow out of that mess. Experience, experience, experience. The idea then is that Mother Teressa, Gandhi, et all did not necessarily
try harder than the rest, but instead had been through a greater number and variety of experiences than the rest. The "try" came into play as they kept on keeping on through all of the various experiences. That of course is an assumption to express my point. I'm sure there is also more involved in terms of such people being here.
This is what I meant with the idea that it might be good for us to relax a little and not try to control the experience or over think it... or over
try (pretend). Our own imperfection and the imperfection of others is the means by which we have such a multitude of experiences to grow from. Maybe there is no need to control
such experiences... then again maybe trying to do so is part of you current experience. Do you see what I am saying? We can just experience, do our best in it, and move on to the next experience, and the next one, and the next one, ad infinitum.
So the next time somebody is rude and we get upset or frustrated (or not)... after the dust settles, maybe we should wholeheartedly shake the person's hand and say, "Wow, thanks for the experience! It's been real."
By the way, I am not intending point any of this at you or your situations... It is just my current take based on my own effort and experiences in this existence thing.
All is well :)