I apologize in advance if this subject in slightly of topic, and perhaps this is not the right forum, but...

I´ve been thinking alot of the matter recently If I can feel the love for a child the same way the others do.
Videoclips or pictures of children doing funny things does not seem to affect me on an emotional level, I can´t say that I think children are cute as so many others do, when
I look at other families I only see the children as being an obstacle, and I don´t know how to behave around them or how to play with them.

Animals on the other hand I like to play with and think they are much more cute and I feel good when they are around.

I hope that this strange feeling is because I have not been around children in my adult life since I have a small family with no children from other relatives at family holidays.
Animals on the other hand has been a part of my upbringing.

I recently visited a friends girlfriends family that had lots of children around me, there was a small girl that ran out and approached me momentarily, this made me feel something good inside me but
it was a short experience so I can´t evaluate the experience.

Should I take this as a sign that it is my destiny to overcome my fear of children, or is my meeting of her a random occurrence that has no special significance.
As Tom said, sometimes things just happen..., so I don´t know what to think right now. Since location is a pretty major factor at this time, I will not be able to meet her daughter after some months, I will first spend time with her mother. So my greatest fear now is I will fall in love with her mother but not be able to feel a love for her child later.
But I really hope I will.

If the consciousness system wan´t me to succeed why has it made me meet a lovely women who feels like my soul mate but also has a child, my only answer is that "it" wants me to overcome my fear of children, and when I do I will discover that all my fears about this has been unfounded, but right now I don´t have a clue...

Don't over think things and give it a chance to become clear with time. Some things are chance while some other things are planned. Chance is a greater part of most of our lives than planning. Whatever happens, there will no doubt be lessons available to be learned. Worry about correctly learning those lessons rather than trying to guess what might have been planned versus chance. Live gracefully with uncertainty and figure it out as you go along. Go where your life takes you and don't worry about signs and portents as they are as likely to be your imagination as not. You are not predestined and need to worry about missing your designated path. If you were predestined, then why would there be any possible worry about missing the proper path as you would not be able to do so. So just forget about such as over intellectualization. Go with the flow and see where the path takes you. Deal with the problems when and as they arise and with the best intent possible.

Ted

Hello Challe77,

nice to see you are being honest and open of your percepts. A set of tips and strategies came to mind while I was reading your input. Maybe you should be more occupied with appreciating the situation of being in the vicinity of children, as opposed to be fixated on what your "appropriate behavior" should be. Merely sharing momentary consensus with the presence of any child is a unique experience in its own right, and I think they kind of feel it if you give them "just" respect, no need to be smarmy with them. Re-discover your inner child, maybe. I personally never lost mine. Right, mom???,,right????,,m,,,,,

Sorry, "kidding". :)

I have over analyzed myself in the past about could I feel Love at all, sad really but I found anger I picked up quite easy, through meditation I seem to chill out.

When it comes to Children I encounted the same thing I wasn't used to having them around me, I always knew I wanted Children but others kids I felt a little uncomfortable simply because I wasn't used to having them around me, that changed and every were I look in my family there's kiddies every were, with my own 2 there can be 7 running around my families gardens at a time, jumping in and playing about with them becomes second nature.

You will surprise yourself once you get used to them around you and what GyZ said was the case for me, I was fixated on what my appropriate behavior, others seemed to take to kids naturally and I felt kinda like a robot around them, I chilled myself out and hanging around them seemed to do the trick.

I'm sure you will be fine.

_________________
“It is often said that before you die your life passes before your eyes. It is in fact true. It's called living.” - Terry Pratchett

I've been surrounded by children in the family all my life. Dogs are better friends and playmates. Children are not there to amuse you, it's the opposite.

This is the realisation: children are small people that don't know anything. It so extremely important that they learn early that the world is not evil or hostile, and that people can be kind and good. If you don't feel anything when they show you toys or something, pretend until it means something to you. It doesn't have to come naturally, you just have to have good intentions.

You are basicly a "model for the world" to children, so present yourself as you would like the world to be. They are more sensitive to intent than adults. They can sense your intent when you say "eat up" or "good job!". If you are thinking "eat up, because you are annoying me", children feel it. They can sense why you give them gifts - "you being busy and quiet is more valuable to me than the cost of this toy."

"Go to bed! (because you are annoying us)" is another example.

In MBT-ish, children are beings with very few fears or beliefs and the ones they have are connected to the immediate functions of their bodies.

_________________
Johan