I'm writing this post in the search for a little help and insight. I appear to have hit a bit of a wall in my meditation practice. I've been meditating everyday (at least twice for 20 minutes) for the past year, but the last several months haven't seen much progress. Generally when things are good I can keep a clear mind for maybe 1-5 minutes. This is usually done sitting down, but I do try it lying down sometimes. I also occasionally repeat my mantra while walking or doing menial tasks.
But lately... In some ways I feel like I've regressed. Some meditation sessions are absolutely terrible. Sometimes I can barely clear my mind at all - it is just buzzing with the events of the day. Sometimes I think it is diet/timing related. I've become a little frustrated with it, and I now feel a little anxiety after a session. Mainly its a feeling of tension in my chest.
I used to meditate and feel absolutely wonderful afterward, but not anymore. The tension is becoming more and more of a problem. On a good day, I'll start the meditation session off fairly well. But each time my mind de-rails my focus, I get more agitated and find it harder to focus on the mantra. By the end of the session it feels like it's just fallen apart. My head feels somewhat clear, but my body (mostly around the heart) is incredibly tense.
I took a meditation class many months ago and the teacher said slumps are normal and common. He recommended staying the course and not taking a break - he said a break would cause further regression. So I've just been trying to meditate regularly with discipline - but the motivation is taking a beating.
In general, I've felt a little more detached (i.e. less grounded) in the physical lately. I don't get caught up in materialism, gossip, and entertainment nearly as much as I used to. The downside is that I just find it harder and harder to relate to the people around me and I feel like that might be related to the meditation problem. I know love is the answer (on the intellectual level), but I also get frustrated seeing how my gut reaction to events in my everyday life is far from low entropy. Although, I do think I'm getting better.
Thanks for reading.
during my Buddhist phase when I was younger, spent a lot of time on the cushion, but never actually enjoyed it....trying to work my way back to this
like the above suggestion, maybe try meditating for an hour or a couple of hours once, to see if there is some particular bit of stuff you need to digest, get over a hump, or find some maniac Buddhists to hang with and do a weekend retreat as shock treatment. Maybe your light meditation has loosened some stuff up that needs to shoveled out.
I think any conversation can be classified as being on a continuum from nasty gossip all the way up to peacemaking or tantric/zen level instructional playfulness, and one role to try (to overcome the boredom of most conversations) is to attempt to step any high entropy conversation up a notch from where it is, within the range of decision space that the crowd can handle, without them getting weirded out. Also, getting people to talk about themselves and seeing if you can help them improve their perspective on their problems. You also need to find your crowd, which might take some effort.
here is a link to gnaural to build a binaural beat filehttp://gnaural.sourceforge.net/
this from Tom
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