Well, you will never be alone, as you have your children, whether or not they are living with you.

Men come and go, but children are forever...I think it was the single and wild mom of one of my early girlfriends who said this

Now, the above comments were specific to a young still-married woman without kids.

There are many who prosper under single hood, and it permits a very low entropy person unfettered by fear and inhibition to range widely socially and experientially, but to intentionally choose this requires a serious assessment of your capacity for solitude

There is also the option of establishing a TOE community for singles and others. A rich TOE ist could buy a big house somewhere and rent out rooms, for example.

Want to start a waiting list?

_________________
Does this PMR make my butt look big?

I think a rich Toeist would give out the rooms as a coop, but I hear ya. You know, she could just have a baby without the marriage, and so could he even with an agreement, and it has been done (single dads). Adopting is also an option. But I think the meat of this is sex, right? Sex within a rule-set which is evolving or going extinct, marriage. I think that gam is over. http://ancienthistory.about.com/od/etym ... ivatio.htm
Love
Bette

_________________
All That Is
what is?
Consciousness.

I think it becomes more an issue of social and financial efficiency, especially following middle age and broadening your range of decision making

Most divorced and single are playing defense on many fronts trying to keep their heads above water financially and having to invest a lot of energy to avoid isolation.

Being married takes a lot of pressure off of having to get out of the house and gives you a sound financial base to enjoy life and travel or pursue other dreams

My advice is sow your wild oats thoroughly and intensely when young, when the collateral damage is minimized, then retire from all that and settle down decisively when that gets boring

I wonder if the root issue is boredom with life, and having an affair is an easy distraction to break the monotony

I think a lower entropy person would rather find a project to improve their credentials or start a small side business, build an improvement to the house, organize a big trip, start some sort of charity initiative, take up a musical instrument, ...something that generates some excitement and novelty

What works for me is extreme conservatism with my marriage, career and investments, and with everything else I am a complete dilettante, rapidly moving from one hobby, project or dream to another

_________________
Does this PMR make my butt look big?

It's just a life style.
Love
Bette

_________________
All That Is
what is?
Consciousness.

Who could ever be bored with LIFE? Yikes, if you find life on planet earth a "boring existence", I am sorry but you probably shouldn't be here.Like any of that generates more novelty or excitement than being with a new partner for the first time. Come on Randy, are you kidding me? Thank you for sharing, I feel like I've read that somewhere before.

Love,
Lynda

Lynda: "Like any of that generates more novelty or excitement than being with a new partner for the first time. Come on Randy, are you kidding me? "

I have gotten more excitement and novelty from my piano, and it continues to grow, sometimes much more joy from a simple song than some of my first sexual encounters with brand new partners.

=)

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Are you sure it was Ahash31 really typing this? If it helps you out, does that even matter?

hashjazz.com

Not me. I feel more charged with another human being in the room. Inanimate objects just don't cut the mustard for me.

I can definitely commune with God and have much pleasure just in looking at the sky or at a flower, but it is not the same Charge I am talking about, almost an electricity, that can sometimes happen between two IUOCs.

I don't just mean intercourse or even anything sexual. It can be a first date. Getting to know that person, and deciding what you want to let them know about you. Getting to like that person and find things you have in common. Picking up on whether you think that person might actually see a second date in your future. These are things you don't get to enjoy once you've been together in a monotonous ahem, excuse me, monogamous relationship over the course of years and years. This is the kind of freshness and novelty Bette and Randy were speaking of in the Forum Get-Together. This is why I find monogamy a total drag.

Last week I spoke to a radio hostess who agrees with me and in fact has written a book, "Stop Saying I'm Fine!" and is now working on her second book, "The Roommate Syndrome". Once you've been married to the same person for fourteen years, if you elect to go that route, you will begin to understand where this author, Mel Robbins, and I are coming from.

Lynda,

You would be surprised, but aging and time make many things look less attractive and boring. You start to notice, that what used to be exciting becomes just too much to bother or futile or a nonsense. Simple things take place of fancy stuff, and adventures are not so much desirable anymore. A daily routine becomes more a lifestyle and a necessity, which helps to live.

Lena

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'Real knowledge is to know the extent of ones ignorance.' Confucius.

I am 60, and have one partner for almost 40 years. How boring might it sound for many people? Still learning about each other, and I never had any wish or desire to look for a new partner. I cannot say, that is was a smooth ride. We had a bliss, and we had some gloomy days. And at one point I wanted to leave him, and another time he was ready to go his own way. Well, obviously, after so many years we are not the same people. It was and is a life long lesson about myself and my husband. I have many regrets, and if I could, would change what I have had said or did, to make others to feel pain. This is impossible, and I have to live with all that. But I have never regretted to be with one man all my life. Did other men pay attention to me? I suppose so. Did I care? Yes, I did, but it was nothing compare to what I felt all my life to my husband, how important to me was his presence in my life. And I was and is aware, that he feels the same about me.

Lena

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'Real knowledge is to know the extent of ones ignorance.' Confucius.

I have always felt the same way as Lena about my long term relationships. I was very happy with my first husband and we were together 18 years. I just liked being around him and I never thought about wanting to be with someone else when I was with him.

If anyone tells me that they are bored, I tell them its because they are not paying attention. If you are fully aware and fully participating in each moment you will realize that there are NO ordinary moments.

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LOVE is the answer

peace
patrick

As far as this VR, I think of marriage like training wheels like Hemi-Sync (R) is to accessing the LCS, I suppose. Real Love based long term relationships have nothing to do with "marriage" because marriage is contrived. Just as we as a species in this VR are Evolving out of other major Belief Systems used (for good or bad) to attempt to control the masses; we are also Evolving out of the need, as well as the model having become inefficient with more harm than worth like many other old laws to more and more people it too is losing its mysticism, out of this "institution." A piece of paper doesn't mean anything REALLY, it is each Consciousness involved that has meaning for the choices. It's nice if you want to freely do it, and all, but as a social norm it isn't doing it anymore, and not required in its current form, imo.
Love
Bette

_________________
All That Is
what is?
Consciousness.

I apologize, but I cannot go into the exact specific type of frustration I am experiencing. However, the more observant of you, and my closest friends who know me so well here, know exactly of what I speak and hopefully are able to, if not sympathize, at least empathize. Patrick, I can't get the exact quote right now, but this makes me think of something Joe Rogan once said, have you heard of him? I will paraphrase what I heard Joe say through my own personal filter: "How can anyone be BORED? How can you not have enough to do? I can't wait to get up and get going each day, there's so much that interests me to do!" Something along those lines. He is a wonderful Example.

Love,
Lynda

Lynda,

I am not so enthusiastic every day. Sometimes its hard to get up and go, knowing that I have some difficult people or things to face. But boredom is certainly out of the question, because once I get involved it is usually non-stop action. And when there is a moment of down time I try to soak every little thing up. Every bird, evry bug, and every weed, every cloud, and every sky, all people and critters. (every rock, every tree, every blade of grass and every grain of sand)
I practice every day to realize the truth. The unity of all things. That everything I see, I am a part of it and it is a part of me. It fills me with a sense of wonder and awe.

_________________
LOVE is the answer

peace
patrick

I'm sorry about your difficulty. What makes them difficult? Sometimes someone can see someone else as "difficult" when all they need is to be understood or appreciated.

If you recognize unity, then these people are in your life for a reason, they are a part of you, and your mirror. Have you been acting "difficult" with anyone lately?