I wonder if the root issue is boredom with life, and having an affair is an easy distraction to break the monotony.
Who could ever be bored with LIFE? Yikes, if you find life on planet earth a "boring existence", I am sorry but you probably shouldn't be here.
I think a lower entropy person would rather find a project to improve their credentials or start a small side business, build an improvement to the house, organize a big trip, start some sort of charity initiative, take up a musical instrument, ...something that generates some excitement and novelty
Like any of that generates more novelty or excitement than being with a new partner for the first time. Come on Randy, are you kidding me?
What works for me is extreme conservatism with my marriage, career and investments, and with everything else I am a complete dilettante, rapidly moving from one hobby, project or dream to another
Thank you for sharing, I feel like I've read that somewhere before.
what can happen when the left hemisphere and discipline muscles completely dominant the primal and creative elements is an overly orderly life protected by insurance and pension plans and government guaranteed term deposits and redundant fail-safes, which magnifies itself if this trait operates over several generations mutually reinforcing each other - which inevitably leads to a state of boredom, and the antidote is to self modify and start intentionally rebalancing, revisiting impulsiveness carefully and opening up to NPMR and so called spiritual or creative matters...getting in touch with your inner biker or inner flake.
Forbes (magazine) senior was an interesting example of this...millionaire pillar of society who embraced the biker lifestyle and hot air ballooning
So much of life turns on how you respond to stress (boredom being one variation), the fundamental choice of reaching for something wholesome that will stop the downward spiral, or if you reach for something self destructive that will be fun for the moment or a few months, but will lead to further complications, not only on a practical level, but as well draw down your QoC bank account if you harm others in the process.
There is no question that novel sex with a new partner is the crack cocaine of self indulgence as well as its travelling companion, infatuation, the question is if it is worth the price.
What we are talking about is the sustainability of pleasure, maximizing pleasure over your lifetime, or even broadening this to maximizing pleasure for your family line - ie. someone might decide to make a painful emmigration so that the lives of their children might be better.
But as well, this pleasure that we are maximizing is a balancing act between R-complex pleasures of the moment, left hemispheric pleasures of accomplishment and investing in the future, and most importantly, the gift that keeps on giving, the pleasure of increasing our QoC "credit rating".