I hope I can explain what I am feeling.... I will try my best.

I am not knew to Tom's work, I was here first when he released his book and I am also familiar with Robert Monroe's work. I had to re-register because I can't remember my old account... I am sorry but it has been a little while since I have been here.
Said that I have never been able to have and OBE and I think I have tried enough but I guess by the results I haven't.

Today my question is with Love, sex, relationships, the one, desire, and how this tights up with routine life and Karma and finding the right partner for me... is he really out there? is there one? more? what's your view on this?

I understand that love is unconditional and to be able to get wherever we are headed we have to lower our entropy and learn to love unconditionally and it seems I have been able to do that for the most part, people always treat me very nicely and they say I am nice to them and if there is something I can do for someone I do it.

But , my relationships with men have not been the best, it seems I actually maybe giving too much? or I don't know how to recognize the one for me; I don't know if I fall in love with the wrong guy or do I mess things up afterwards... so I was wondering if someone here that can do an OBE could contact my guides and see what and where I am doing wrong, specially with my last relationship with this guy... his first name starts with a "T" and I don't know what else you would need to know to accomplish this...My name starts with an "N" and we both live in Sarasota Florida.
Tom was kind enough to do this for me and gave me very good advice about this guy I was seeing 5 years ago and he was right to a T , but I don't really want to bother him again, unless he sees this and he is kind enough to contact my guides again or "see" what is going on, I would really appreciate it.

To the ones that don't have the knowledge to do the OBE .... but have more wisdom than I do, could you please give me your advice on how to find the one? is there really a person that was meant to be with me? or is it just a matter of keep trying and toss who doesn't work or doesn't make you happy... when do you know love is love? are you driven by desire? chemistry? which one comes first? could there be chemistry after friendship? what's your view on it?

I read an article on Love, Eros and Sex from the pathwork that explained it good but still didn't tell me how to find your partner. I am 40 now and I am getting tired of being alone, it would be so nice if I could find a partner in crime to be with me and share life and build a future together....

Thank you


Tom, if you see this, I really need your help, I didn't want to bother you before but I am not doing very well right now. Thank you!!!

You don't necessarily have some set up 'one' for you in this life. Most lives are not set up for getting together on some special basis or following some special path. Could be, but probably not. Tom has said this, not just me. You basically must simply live gracefully with uncertainty into the future, dealing with what comes down the pike as best that you can. If your interactions with some particular man do not seem to optimize both of your free wills, then you need to keep looking.

Tom is basically going in 6 directions at one time compared to the past. I haven't even seen him come on the board in some weeks and I am on the board a lot. What you really need to do is to persistently ask for information from your own guidance and be open to receiving it. Actually a lot of guidance is offered regularly but not perceived. It won't necessarily come as a voice in your head speaking in simple and clear terms. It may be in the form of this uncertainty that you are apparently feeling. OOBE does not necessarily give you contact with your guidance nor does meditation. Specifically asking for help and information for guidance in as clear and consistent a manner as you can manage is a good start but it will take persistence, a serious effort on your part. Not to convince 'them' to provide it but to also make yourself aware of it when it is given.

Ted

Thanks Ted... I appreciate the words, makes me kind of sad though I was hoping there would be such a person.

So, what is your take on astrology and zodiacal signs compatibility, do you think there is any truth on that?
I have read a lot of different books on almost everything out there to find this special person but obviously something is not clicking with me because I am still alone and if I can be compared to anything in this world and if there is something embedded in my DNA is the fact that I romance with the fact that there can be a person in this world that will have very similar views morals and wants for his life as I have for mine, and we can both work on that together.Like love birds (haha)

Ted, can you OBE? this is aside of what I am asking but can people that can do an OBE help other people "pull" them out of their body?
I know from all the test that they did at the Monroe Institute that two people could be in the same place after experiencing an OBE because they both detailed the same information of what they saw, but what about something of the nature I am asking?

Hi NAM101, :)

You say your past relationships haven't gone so well, but hey, don't beat yourself up over it. A lot of people feel that way. This is all just a learning experience anyway, and, I'm sure you've learned and grown from it all, no doubt.

as i see it, I think the concept of "The One," as depicted in romantic comedies and Hollywood, can cause a lot of stress, in that people expect so much from their partners, expect such unreal perfection out of life. And yet, that idealized love is but a shadow of what is already within you, beneath all that entropy.

Also, in terms of growth, you have to be cool with the worst case scenario. Don't let the fear of being alone get to you. If you're stressing over it, you may inadvertently encourage it to happen, and your guides might also, in turn, see fit that it is for the best to erode that entropy by facing it. That goes for all fears and everything else you stress.

NAM101,

I did not say that there is not just exactly what you are hoping for available to you. I just said what is the normal that Tom describes.

My experience with OBE has been minimal. Really just enough to know that, yeah, that really does work. I have had enough contact with many things to know that they exist, they can work, they can be experienced if desired and worked on. I have described a lot of this on the board. I have used shamanic drumming and I have descended the roots of the world tree and entered shamanic type realities. Not to any valuable purpose, but I know that these approaches can work. Tom is the great consciousness explorer. I seem to get information from the LCS, perhaps my own 'higher' self, without explanation and this seems to be my most fruitful pattern.

Astrology is not part of the rule set for PMR. That is not to say that people cannot use astrology to pull information out of the data bases. I have seen enough with one of our board members to see that clearly information can be obtained that way that is good information. But the information comes from the practitioner, their intent and the data base, not the astrology as such. Just like using visualization of auras and 'disease' in healing. Tools to focus your intent to extract information from the appropriate data base.

Focus your Intent on receiving information, guidance, from your guides and you will probably get there eventually.

Ted

NAM101,

Consider that your very existence is providing you precisely the opportunity you need to grow. If you got what you wanted right now, would you miss some lesson about yourself? You are responsible for your own happiness, it starts with you. Don't wait for some circumstances to be met outside of yourself before you can be happy.

Nobody else can do the growing for you, there are no short-cuts, all another can do is offer guidance. Make your inner world the place that you dream of and the outside world will naturally reflect it. This reality is about learning lessons, and evolving your consciousness towards love. As you do so, you will give love more freely, and naturally attract the same into your life from others. I do not mean to come across harsh in anyway. These are lessons I am trying to learn myself, I offer them humbly to you.

If you haven't already, check out the book. "The Mastery of Love" by Don Miguel Ruiz. It added significantly to my understanding of love. Trust your intuition, ask for guidance, as others here have said. It will happen!

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NAM101 - I have a friend that was desperate for a relationship and kept making bad choices so that she wouldn't be alone. She hated not having a partner and felt that she only felt complete when she was in a relationship.

She finally spent some time alone and found she could be happy by herself. It wasn't long after that that she met a nice man and they are very happy together.

So my suggestion is to work on yourself for awhile. Engage in activities about "others" like some volunteer work and see what happens.

Well, I do understand that "the one" has been over idealized and there are always challenges in relationships, what I don't understand is why I always feel like I am the one putting the most work on them, then I feel disappointed and I fall out of love.... I often feel I am the only one in this planet that can really show love and understanding and to tell you the truth and as crazy as it sounds I don't even want to be here...

I have also tried the friendship approach with the relationship before this one in hopes that the satisfaction with the sexual part would come next, not that I didn't like him but for some reason I never really totally clicked sexually with him... and that didn't work in the end, after 2 years I finally gave up... what do you feel about that? chemistry should be always first? I still love him he is a great guy but just wasn't everything I was looking for.

And yes that fear just got me good these last couple months, I dropped 35 lbs over this guy I was seeing , there was more involved though a lot more but I don't want to say anything because I am still in hopes that Tom or someone could "see" where I went wrong....

Yeah... what exactly does he describe? I must have missed something there because as far as I remember he said his wife was the "one" and he knew it from the start, so maybe I missed understood somewhere....



I had some experiences about 5 years ago with dreams that would come true , I mean like actually conversations that would happen exactly as I dreamed them... I have had "trips" while meditating and "seen" faces of people in my eye lids looking at me, warmth overcoming my body and wrapping around me, once I was taken away in a very lucid dream where I could see me getting out of this planet and shooting up in space further and further until I couldn't take it no more and then I came back really quick because I felt I couldn't breath... but all these happened a long time ago and haven't experience anything like it in a while, and I never actually left my body... but I would really love to do it and explore that... I love to know what you mean by Shamanic drumming and those realities. Do you do any type of recreational drugs? (sorry if that is not a fair question on a public board... just asking, I know there are some roots that they say they help with spiritual "trips" like ayauasca and stuff like that)...
Also, what is LCS... I need to brush up again on those terms.




ok, so I remember Tom saying that all these ways of accessing the data base are like props people use to get to it, makes sense... can you give me the name of that board member that is knowledgeable on astrology? I love to talk to him/her.
I do believe I do get information from them but when fear sets in as you know it , it is very hard to know which is the right information and the deceiving one... so this is why this time I was hoping someone else with more clearer mind would do it for me and guide me some, I know in the end I am the one that has to do the work and find "myself" but every once in a while a little help it is nice, after all, we are all connected right and this is why we are here, to help each other?



Ted[/quote]

NAM101,

A thread started by Tom for your consideration regarding relationships.

viewtopic.php?f=5&t=2772

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I do understand this, but must growing mean pain? I know life is suppose to test you but when does it end? I believe my happiness would lay with a special person by my side, I am sorry but I do know I can be alone, that is not the problem, and I can take care of myself by myself as well and my children, I have done it for years, it is the sharing of my life with someone else that is a problem...



Funny you say this but yesterday I saw your post on that book and started to listen to it, yes thank you I will finish it and see what good information I can get from it :) and thank you for talking to me! :)

Yeah, I can truly say I am not desperate just heartbroken and disappointed, I didn't go looking for this guy , he came into my life, I hardly ever go out to tell you the truth , I just hate the "meat market" bars and the sleeping around people do, it is just not me, if I am with someone is because I have developed feelings for him... so no, from the bottom of my heart I can say I am not desperate, is just I feel I am not doing something right when these guys come into my life.... and I can't tell what it is.... I am now again ok with the fact that I am by myself again and I will probably start going out eventually, but as I said it is nothing I am very thrill with... but I guess it wouldn't be healthy to just stay at home all the time either.

oh Thank you! I will check this out!

heh, in my experience, the friendship approach can work.

But you have to always be moving forward sexually. Quickly *or* slowly, doesn't matter. But it has to be there from the start and always be moving forward.

Seems to me you have some things to work on first.

Good Luck.