As I often have short lucid dreams, one day I did some analysis. Why do I feel so good when waking up from a lucid dream, what is there so special that I feel much more alive in a lucid dream than in my everyday life? The answer for me was: an attitude. In a lucid dream I have an attitude of an explorer: everything seems interesting, wow, I am in my head, there are things here which come from the recent dream scenario, let's explore them, what do they mean, what do I feel about them... you got the idea.
So, I thought, if such attitude makes me feel so good, then why shouldn't I try to have the same attitude in my everyday life?

And I tried to do that. Next day when I was walking from my work to a bus stop, I emptied my head of all usual thoughts and started to observe. Now I think, it was some kind of a weird meditation: instead of concentrating on a mantra or some visualization (I have a hard time with those - I almost always fall asleep right after I empty my head from thoughts :D) I concentrated on the world outside of me. Just like during a lucid dream - I try to keep all the imagery in my consciousness, to grasp everything while I can, because there is not much time left in the lucid state. I tried to throw away all the ideas of the things I knew about the world, to be like a child or a tourist, who sees everything for the first time in my existence.

So I observed the world and myself for some seconds and suddenly I felt something, I guess, it could be some kind of a shift of consciousness. I got the same feeling as in a lucid dream, the world seemed so exciting, so new. Everything was so beautiful. Somewhere inside of me I felt a sudden urge to approach every person I see and tell: "You know, you exist, and that is great! You are great just because you exist here! And you are a good person, know that!" Only my social belief system kept me from doing that; if it was a lucid dream, I would do that, I'm 100% sure.

For some seconds I could hold to this state. Sky, clouds, houses, birds - everything seemed so nice just because I am here and now and can observe it, I wanted to say such a great thanks to someone just for the opportunity to exist here at this moment... only I still felt alone, there was no-one I could talk to about my inner state.

A minute later I was at a bus stop and felt a bit ashamed - oh, my, maybe I am just too emotional, sentimental. After all - the world is going its own way with or without me, and what's so special about that? The world did not care, if I feel good or bad, it is only up to me.

Still, I felt good about that moment, it was like I had found my "switch of happiness" - click! and the world is not the same as it was, it is exciting, and I am happy and grateful.

So I started to do this more often when going home from work. But one day after such a moment of happiness I had some unpleasant results. The bus came, I sat down, took my radio out and put my earphones on. There was some interview, people were talking about interesting things, so I just relaxed and listened. Then there was some music, sounded a bit cosmic. I started to drift to sleeping, but I had a plenty of time to my bus stop, so I allowed myself to relax more...
Suddenly I had a panic attack. I had to hold on to something to stop me from puking. It was just a glimpse, maybe less than a second.
After taking some deep breaths, I tried to analyze, what I was thinking at that moment (if I was thinking at all). And I remembered some feeling which is hard to describe. This might be similar to a feeling that a little kid might have when he/she gets lost and does not know how to get home, and even worse, does not even know, where the home is and how does it look like! Something like a total amnesia, with the exception that the memories of my normal home still were there, I knew that I am going home from work. It was some other "home" which I have forgotten.

I have no idea why it happened and if it was related to my experiments with the "switch of happiness". The only explanation, which comes to my mind, is that my "switch of happiness" had somehow upset my subconsciousness. Maybe my subconscious part started to think that I am dreaming - after all, in that moment of happiness I was acting as during a lucid dream - exploring everything, perceiving everything as something new, unknown, foreign. So my subconscious tried to wake up from the dream ... but there were no state of consciousness to return to, "no place to wake up into" (sounds weird :D). Maybe that is why for a glimpse of a second I felt like a person who wants to return somewhere, but there is no place to return to...

Anyways, now I am a bit afraid of my "switch of happiness", until I find if it was the reason for that panic attack.

Has any of you had some similar feeling? How do you deal with your fear of unusual states of consciousness, when some of these new states feel bad?

_________________
In order to understand recursion, you must first understand recursion.

FEAR will always be a barrier to love and growth. Ego will violently oppose any and ALL efforts on your behalf, to reduce its power. The sensations that you had are common with people exploring consciousness and the LARGER reality. When you shift your thought towards "self" (not larger self, which would be growth, but the "little me" self, which is EGO)

Variations of this fear reaction are common in OOBEs, (..the fear that I wont make it back to my body) altered (or meditative) states, as well as in "waking consciousness" state. It is FEAR, or selfishness, self preservation, or, as I see it, EGO preservation. Fear of death is not really fear of death, it is fear of -death of the ego-. It is always some form of ..."What will become of me?"
There is only one method (as far as I know) for overcomming our fear. We must face them. We must be willing to accept the worst that could happen. But (for me) there is a powerfull ally in the struggle with fear. LOVE. Love is stronger than fear. Love turns anger into compassion. Love turns hatred into forgiveness. Love is courage.



This technique is my personal favorite. And I cannot say enough about the benefits or the variety of sensations and experience. In some cultures it is known as "Mindfullness meditation". My wife has been observing me in the act of doing this for many years, and she says she is amazed at how I look at everything as though I am seeing it for the very first time. She doesnt really understand it, but in a way she is right. On the one hand I am, like you, removing all preconceived notions about the things I see, and look at things with a complete open mind (as though seeing things for the first time).

Then there is the other aspect of this technique. It is the understanding that all the things within the range of my perceptions are PART of me. We are ALL inter-connected on so many levels. Not only in the sense of "The One Consciousness" dividing into "many" as in AUO (absolute unbounded oneness) evolved into AUM (absolute unbounded manifold) but we are inter connected in EVERY possible sense.



I have heard Mr. Tyson say That when he understood this he just wanted to grab somebody and ask them... "HAVE YOU HEARD THIS!!"





There is a very real basis for the ego to fear this process. It is the beginning of the end of the ego. The "Home" that you return to may be forever altered. Your consciousness may be beginning to become aware of the Larger reality. And you might never see the world (or yourself) in the same old "limited" way ever again.

Good luck! And keep us posted on your progress.

And remember...

_________________
LOVE is the answer

peace
patrick

Yes. This made it click for me, and has made all the difference:

http://youtu.be/p-QqfjRRw-w?t=53s

_________________
-"You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you might find... you get what you need"

nice thread

not exactly the same thing, but reminded me of this guy I read a few years back who addresses this issue of lucidity while awake

http://www.timothyfreke.com/lucid.php

free sample
http://www.wattpad.com/158220-lucid-liv ... -freke?p=1

I have not read his other books that have Christo-centric titles (Christo-phobes, please avert your eyes!)

_________________
Does this PMR make my butt look big?

Locating the "Happiness switch" (with the help of science, brainscans, Mindfulness, and Meditation)

http://kellymcgonigal.com/2011/08/16/61/

Thanks to Lena (posted elsewhere)

_________________
LOVE is the answer

peace
patrick

I wonder where meditation comes from

Like, was it designed into the PMR, did it evolve darwin wise, is it a universal tool for FWAUs AUM wide where you have a veil between FWAU and IUOC?

Are primitive peoples organically more connected to their IUOCs due to their lifestyle, no distracting entertainment and work that is more natural, less egoic?

Is meditation like working out at the gym to compensate for an unnatural lifestyle?

_________________
Does this PMR make my butt look big?

Consider that meditation is just a form of connection to Consciousness Space. What else might it be? There has been a kind of connection of primitive peoples for as far back as we are aware. Check out shamanism. Shamans have been going OOB, looking for game, interceding with the 'spirit world' and explaining reality to their tribes for as long as we have existed as far as we know. Some people just have a natural proclivity to do this. Remember what has been said about children with spontaneous memories of past lives and with "imaginary" friends that no one else can see. If society does not suppress this, it develops naturally. So I understand it. Meditation would just be a sort of 'purified' form with the purpose of contacting consciousness rather than a specific purpose like looking for game by remote viewing. Supposedly more primitive peoples have more a sense of themselves as part of nature and thus a lesser concept of "I". I find this easy to believe from my own experience.

Ted

midix,

It's probably not that big a deal... it sounds very much like you are switching the locus of physical consciousness "over to the right side of the brain". See the book "Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain" (easy to get at the local library). Sink the first few chapters (ya, do the drawing exercises), and my guess is that you will say "Oh! Ya! That's what it is!"

There are a variety of 'close to home' altered states of consciousness (ASCs), of which this is one. In general, I suspect it is good to be aware of and familiar with as many of these as one might; Having that forms a base of knowledge that makes the more exotic ASCs to found in the 'meta-human' constructions less spooky and incomprehensible.

Happy Trails,
Montana

Thanks for sharing your thoughts, I'll check out the links you mentioned.

I am trying to find the source of my fear, to know what exactly I am afraid of.
Sometimes it is like you said, ego's fear of losing my current perosnality. Sometimes it is just a fear of unknown. But mostly the fear is because I do not know, what is the worst thing that could happen. For example, I try to remember, what was the world like before I was born, but all that I remember, is nothing, non-existence. And I am so afraid that some day I'll have to return to this non-existence. I know, that in case if there really is nothing after I die, then it won't matter to me - I won't feel anything anyway. I try to believe, that I am more than my body, but for now it is just a part of my belief system, not a part of my knowledge or experience. For now it seems to me like a recursion - to overcome a fear, I need to know it, but I am afraid of the fear itself :D

Oh, well, I guess there is no other way than just live and see, where it will take me. And I hope, I'll soon find some way to prove to myself that there is no way I can completely lose my consciousness, no matter what happens to my body or my current personality. And now I am trying to find out, what exactly my consciousness is, where my consciousness ends and wehere my ego and peronality starts to take over. Sometimes it takes me in a wild jungle of self analysis. Something like this: "ok, I think, I want something right now. But who is this thing, that wants it? Is it me myself? Is it my ego? Is it my subconscious? Is it all of them together?" :D

_________________
In order to understand recursion, you must first understand recursion.

It's not so much "your consciousness" it's just consciousness. You are concerned with death to the point it interferes with with living your life. That last sentence applies to me probably more than you although if it applies to you too use it please. I am just coming out from that and now can see how my issue with that has affected my daughter so have a responsibility to try and pull her out of it now. Luckily my son is more advanced as well as having autism so he didn't "get it" from me this Fear. I can't tell you exactly how to pull yourself out of it if this is your issue too except to suggest reading MBT once or twice and start to notice the VR aspect of everything "out there" as compared to what is "in here." What you ARE continues and what you are experiencing in the life now is saved but once you've finished with it you don't sweat it although in your next life experience packet it can be accessed showing it still exists. If you accessed a past life you would be accessing the data saved from a past life and that happens all the time. See?
Love
Bette

_________________
All That Is
what is?
Consciousness.

This post is, to me, an important indicator of the issue facing ALL of us. There is a lot of information here to look at. The implications here are not just for you, but for everyone. And the fact that you are wrestling with these issues, in my opinion, is a sign of real growth. Many people never allow themselves to dwell on these intangible concepts.



In one sense, this statement leads me to think, - All the more reason to celebrate each moment. To cherish EVERYTHING and EVERYONE with which we come into contact.

If it is a finite existence then there is an urgency to make the best of it. We must decide how we want to view and effect our environment (and the people in it), and what we would like our legacy to be after we are gone. Did we spread LOVE, harmony, awareness and joy, or did we spread FEAR, discord, ignorance and suffering? Did we promote and fascilitate separation or unity?

When I come face to face with my own mortality, (and that of others) I re-evaluate my priorities. When I walk "side by side" with "death" I live a more rewarding life, and I began to treat everything and everyone with a newfound gentleness and compassion. The idea that the last time I see someone, could be the last time (in this lifetime) that I get a chance to see them makes me more aware of how I treat people in everyday interactions.




Are we separate from everything or are we all ONE and interconnected? Is this a friendly universe, or a hostile universe?

Once we realize that the "separation" (between our "self" and everything else) that we are taught from childhood, and percieve with our physical senses, IS really an ILLUSION, there is a subtle shift in consciousness. Not just reading about it or talking about it, but actually becoming AWARE of the connection (or interconnection) This AWARENESS is somewhat of a gradual process, for me at least.

Alan Watts says in his book...

"THE BOOK On the Taboo Against Knowing Who You Are" ...there is...



http://www.scribd.com/doc/2546460/The-B ... Alan-Watts

And when I become aware that my environment is just an extension of me. That there is no separation between the "observer" and what is "observed". There is a new responsibility that was previously non-existent.
You can never understand an organism by removing it from its environment. That any organism is CONNECTED to its natural environment is a bit of an understatement. The interconnection goes deeper. Every organism is INSEPARABLE from its environment. For example, if you observe a rainbow you should understand that you a PARTICIPATING in the phenomenon that causes the rainbow to exist. And if I were standing next to you, observing a rainbow, I would be observing a DIFFERENT rainbow. Without the observer there is only a potential of a rainbow. A probability. If you were not there to observe the rainbow, the rainbow would not exist. The same as: If a tree falls in the forest, and nobody is there to hear it, does it make a noise? The answer is no.

Reality is subjective. And we are inseparable from our environment. So if we are IN the universe, then the universe is also within us.

And if everything we see, and everyone we meet is a part of our larger self then...- All the more reason to celebrate each moment. To cherish EVERYTHING and EVERYONE with which we come into contact.

The more I think of it the more I feel that, no matter what the situation, no matter what the question, LOVE is the answer.

As Carl Sagan once said: ""We are a way for the cosmos to know itself."
We are a way for consciousness to understand itself. We are a way for AUM to evolve itself.

_________________
LOVE is the answer

peace
patrick

Now I am just at chapter 17 in "My big TOE" but it makes a lot of sense, especially because I have also read R.Monroe's books and also M.Newton's books about life-between-lives. There are some parts that do not quite stick together nicely, but those are just minor issues, maybe some problems of interpretation or belief systems.
While reading, I am starting to remember some of my childhood "crazy ideas" (mostly influenced by lots of sci-fi books). I had some unprovable ideas, and the fact that I cannot prove them, made those ideas even more interesting.

For example, three ideas I remember:

1) if there is no one in the room, does the room exist at all? Maybe the Universe "turns it off" to save the energy (later when I was studying 3D programming, I found out that this idea is often used in 3D engines: do not render anything, if no-one is looking at things)

Yes, that is exactly the same idea. Mostly I thought about it as just some interesting mind trick (the same way as I thought about those sci-fi time travel paradoxes), but lately quantum physics is seriously exploring such ideas

2) what if time does not tick in regular intervals, maybe there are actually many thousands of years between two moments of my existence but I do not feel that because I do not exist between those moments?

3) my mom has written down some amusing things that I and my bro and sis have said when we were 3-10 years old. There is a conversation with me:
Mom: What are you doing now?
I: I am thinking.
Mom: Can you stop thinking for a moment and come to me?
I: NO! I cannot stop thinking! If I stop thinking, there will be no me anymore.

Hmm, there is something ... philosophical in it :D



Yes, really familiar situation. I have a little vision defect since birth and that makes me overly cautious mostly because I cannot trust what I see. I always have to recheck. Sometimes I feel, I am so afraid of being wrong, getting into trouble and dying, that it makes me afraid of living my life. But from the other hand, this vision defect has taught me: "never take anything for granted, never assume that something is the way you see it now, be open to the possibilities that everything may turn out to be different from your point of view".

Now, I think I am starting to understand the purpose of fear. It is like some signal: "You are approaching something you are not ready to accept yet. If you continue to force things, you may get in trouble. Go and learn to accept it first, and then the fear will vanish". So, I guess fear is useful thing in general, if it is interpreted correctly.

And lastly, about TOE. For now many things to me are as they are defined - a theory. I understand it, I believe it is correct, but it is just a theory for me, there is a long path for me till TOE becomes KOE - my knowledge of everything. It feels like a big puzzle from many aspects. I take one thing of TOE, look at it: OK, it might be useful, but it does not "click" for me, I'll put it aside for now (the problem is, sometimes it gets lost, if I do not find some use of it soon). Then I take another piece of TOE, and that clicks right into the place in my puzzle. Then I look at my puzzle and see, that some pieces are grey or blurred - I know, that they are there, they have "clicked" there, but I cannot define, what they are. And this also takes time and some help to find out how to define those pieces, so I am 100% sure what they are.

But this puzzle has also a bad part. Some pieces may "click" in wrong places. I overview the puzzle and suddenly notice that it has a picture that does not make sense (although the pieces have "clicked" together quite nicely). And that means I have put something into my "belief system" and now I'll have to dissect a part of my puzzle piece by piece. Ouch, that hurts (that was my Ego, I guess).

Oh, it all is so complicated ... but still beautiful and interesting, and maybe that is the purpose of it.

_________________
In order to understand recursion, you must first understand recursion.

midix,

What you say is fitting in very well with Tom's TOE.

1) If there is no one in the room, then in fact the room is not rendered. The room exists only as the data stream coming into the mind of an occupant in order for them to perceive it. If the occupant is a cockroach under the bed, it perceives what it can of the room and the rest is not rendered for it. If it is a dust mite on the floor somewhere, it perceives what it can and the rest is not rendered for it.

2) Time might be irregular and you would never know. You exist continuously as an IUOC for every tick of the Consciousness System clock which is not a matter of time but of system states changing with nothing existing/defined between those ticks. Most of those clock ticks you are totally unaware of as they are devoted to your functioning as a tiny part of all that is or AUM as Tom describes it in its latest version and development. A small fraction of those ticks are perceived by you as a continuous existence within NPMR which you are not ordinarily aware of as you exist here within PMR. For you as you exist within NPMR, the ticks of the total reality in between those related to your perception of NPMR do not exist. They are not in your awareness of NPMR which is limited to those ticks specifically sent to you to represent the NPMR experience. Then last in a repeating cycle comes a single tick that represents your experience of PMR where you are now conscious. Then the cycle repeats again. It is like the same code experiencing different functions depending upon the data fed to it in a computer where you as an IUOC are a digital mind. All of those vastly many ticks between each tick of the NPMR and whole system clocks do not exist for you. You can learn, as Tom has and describes, to develop awareness of the NPMR existence but not of the rest. The number of total system clicks between one PMR experience tick and the next could vary and almost certainly does vary but it is not perceptible to you. Even the PMR ticks come so fast that they are undetectable by PMR science. You are getting down to the Planck limits of science there. What you experience as PMR is the collection of those few ticks of the Consciousness System clock/state changes and the vastly many more in between are totally unknown to you, just as you are describing. You as your PMR experience, a Free Will Awareness Unit as it has come to be called on the BB, exists only as those few PMR ticks out of all of the vast number as the Consciousness System ticks away. In between, you are defined and function as something else.

3) This also is true in a sense. When you stop thinking as your PMR self/perception, you do stop existing in a sense but actually carry on with other functions as described above. If you can clear your mind of conscious thoughts by stopping thinking as stated, you do not cease to exist. This is actually the gateless gate into the rest of reality as Consciousness Space as NPMR experience plus OOBE plus all other non ordinary states of consciousness. This is where the mystics go to perceive the Void or the RWW with the IUOCs on it as Indra's Net of the ancient past. This is where the shamans go to seek game for their tribe of hunter/gatherers. This is where you go to seek information, perhaps for healing.

Your vision defect producing uncertainty, perceptions of things that do not fit with this being an objective physical reality all show that there is more to this reality than what present science recognizes. This is a secret but not really well kept. It just is not permitted to become clear and common knowledge among those who could not continue to function and give this PMR reality the attention that it is supposed to get if they knew that it was a simulation, a Virtual Reality. This is under the control of the Psi Uncertainty Principle or PUP.

You are getting there.

Ted

Fear of unknown or uncertainty is the main fear, and it includes a fear of death too, loosing your current personality, and many more. Take it easy, go step by step, and enjoy small steps forward, when you are able to recognize them, and don't dwell over a big leap back. That's life, and you do your best to live it.

Lena

_________________
'Real knowledge is to know the extent of ones ignorance.' Confucius.