I'd like to chime in and say "it depends".
My experience has been that people tend to retreat deeper into their belief systems and entrench their defenses with even more ferocity than before. It seems counter-productive to me to attack them head-on, hoping to "crush the ego and confuse". Scaring them doesn't seem like a loving thing to do.
That being said, if they are somewhat open to hearing what you have to say, they may honestly and openly consider your thoughts. That is, if they're open-minded enough. That's a big if, because I don't think most people are.
So what does that say for us? Stay open-minded (and skeptical of course) on what other people have to say. You might learn something.
Telling you truth and experiences does not to me seem like an attack! Agreeing with people when you don't agree seems like fear, And to be counter productive most of the time. Tom being challenged with questions to answer might not seem very loving for some people listening to the answers. He knows his truth is not fragile just egos. I am sure that high pressure challenge is also helping him grow. I think you are right when you say it depends, Sometimes it is best not to say anything and let them believe what they want. even if you don't agree, Just for the sake of LOVE Fred searching for truth