I believe Tom has gotten into this a little bit. In some of the YouTube videos he mentions that the communications you have with loved ones that are no longer in the VR is in almost all cases just your interface with the LCS in a way that is most acceptable to you.
If you have a communication with the person shortly after they have died it may really be them. After that they are busy re-integrating into their IUOC, doing a life review, and getting ready to incarnate again. They are not hanging around this VR to monitor your progress and help you as is so comforting a thought to so many.
Sorry, but MBT isn't sentimental. It is more about how things really work than making you feel secure in a delusion. This was a hard aha moment for many of us. I think Lena has written about this a few times as she used to feel her grandmother's presence around her. She now accepts that it is just her connection with the LCS.
I had a very vivid dream about my husband shortly after he passed. I do think that this was really him. The information he gave me was about him and not in anyway about me. I have had many dreams about him since and they don't have the same feeling at all. Also, I have had many dreams about my mother (we were very close.) I don't think it was really her in any of them. I do feel her presence all the time but it is my fond memories of her and not really her consciousness.
When a medium "contacts" a dead loved one they are just reading the Past Data Base and not really in contact with that person.
I would think, that it is a combination of your memories of your mother and presence of your guides or helpers.
At first it was a shock to learn, that who I was thinking to be my beloved grandma is not her at all. Now I am glad, that she was not babysitting me, but moved forward with her development. After that I was able to accept a metaphor of bacterias in petri dish, I was able to appreciate LCS help and my personal interface in form of my guides, synchronicity and etc. I can understand people who come to mediums to ask about their loved one. I think they would feel much better, if they would learn, that there is a life after death, I mean a time in NPMR where your home is, and a new life here in PMR to learn, reduce fear and gain wisdom.
I think, that dream images of our loved ones are not them, but a comfortable and loving interaction LCS with us.