Hey guys. Been a while. Playing follow the leader and starting my own Big TOE. Tom and Ted are the best and I'd like to thank them for stepping up to the plate first. Here's a short piece I just couldn't stop working on. I'm sure it demands a rewrite but if you've ever lived in a city I think you'll probably relate the issue below and I'd appreciate a response. Thanks everyone. Think Amore.

And We Aquarium Fish Loop in the Social Box


"It seems to have passed right by us that we already poses a form of telepathy. The miracle of communication involves the fact that I make small mouth noises and you instantaneously consult the culturally sanctioned dictionary and out your dictionary you construct a map of my linguistic intent and then through a series of grunts and nodes we assure each other we know what we mean." -Terrence McKenna

This portion is brief. It is for those that have floated about the social marketplace and networks that breed like stray cats throughout every metropolis. The club, the lounge, the circle—it doesn't matter what you call the place. The transactions that occur in these chic to shady accommodations are dulling in their cloned similarity.

For those of you who have never entered the social clubs, it's largely disappointing—either immediately or over time. People enter these arenas looking for human relationships like they're shopping for a brand of milk with the right fat content.

At the end of a long loud night/morning in one of these social boxes, I'd find myself on the street half deaf and observing the sky turn quickly from black to a glowing purple, and upon me would come the thought, "Did I just spend seven hours watching air get pushed around a room?" Even if the coveted hookup did in deed go down, I'd often feel I was no closer to anything other than a feel-good delusion via physical stimulation. There is often no real closeness encountered or exchanged there.

The problem is the loop doesn't change. The drudgery of the mask-on, mask-off behavior is constant and expected. The networking. The random hook-up. More often than not, the shit is a soulless as a 30 TV spot.

After exposure to these social boxes I felt what I really wanted was some kind of honest interaction outside of the obvious, like "Sex is good, yes? Sex with me yes?" Or the, "This scene sucks. Let's watch it suck, together from the corner," which very well maybe a variation on the former. The honesty I refer to is the kind that occurs when layers of unrecognized personal and consensus falsehoods are peeled away, and shared with someone else. That's how closeness is really achieved with others. The limitation of interaction and tedium in polite society amounts largely to expected responses governed by a fear of trespassing the invisibly agreed upon areas of discourse and exchange, which more often than not, is the repetition of programming—either our own or somebody else's. A multidimensional geyser of original experience is not going to burst forth from this dimension of meek or even vulgar chitchat, unless a jet engine collapses the ceiling.

After dealing in this world for quite some time, and recognizing what else is available, it seems what's really desirable is an exchange (suggesting at least two or more beings involved) in which the interaction (and beings involved) are moved by the very nature of the stream of communication though and passed their preconceived thought-forms, over and under their pre-programmed emotional response systems (which is where most people give up and hang-out indefinitely), way onward and out there to the membrane threshold of what all their individual reality was until that very moment which is then, finally, if you're having a really good conversation, penetrated and shown up to the clear mirror on honest apprehension, which takes the communicators straight down so powerfully out of the area of past and future and conjecture and into the shocking realness of the present so that neither party can scarcely believe that they are living a life such as this. It's an orgasmic and permanently altering shared moment. The honesty of everything becomes shattering. These types of moments are exactly what it's like the first time you fall in love and also the reason why you fall in love. It's also why you can't expunge them. Reality, life, is just too honest in those exchanges to forget. Isn't that from where we derive our sense of worth within the domain of interaction?

The aide to some others and the self's personal delusions for the sake of attention or cosmopolitan social momentum is not the point nor does it fit the definition of useful communication. It's apes swinging from minimalist-deco-oriental themed postmodernist trees getting crapulent and retarded on overpriced drinks all the while soothing each other that the other ape tribe's shit is for one lie or another somehow different from their own.

Consider the fact that you die, physically at least, and try saying something true of yourself to someone you think might be capable of comprehending it. Don't fret if they're not. Finding out for yourself is better than shopping for the perceived perfect milk. Unless you're truly lucky, those items usually come with a swift expiration date anyway.

Edge,

Thanks for the compliment. I have no useful comments on what you are describing as I have never entered these doors, literally or figuratively. Basically this is a world of illusion with the capital I. Somehow never attractive to me. Born too old and tired I guess.

Ted

Edge,

Sounds like you have experienced an awakening of sorts yourself -- Learning to separate the wheat from the chaff is always a good beginning to developing your own Big TOE.

The majority of humans mill about in social boxes all their lives -- whether the young in "hang-outs" such as you describe, the middle aged in suburbia, or the old in assisted living situations -- each looking and searching for something fundamentally real and meaningful and satisfying -- and each too fearful (needs, ego, etc.) to discover that what is fundamentally real and meaningful and satisfying must originate from within themselves.

Tom

Edge,

Very well said my friend.


~Ron C

Hi Edge
I read your work here when you first posted it and have been meaning to come back to it in order to give you some feedback. As you probably know am currently a writer, too, although I am not doing much lengthy writing the last little while as I am blocked or processing (not sure which). The style (voice) that I HAVE to write in requires conciseness and concreteness so I have less freedom while at the same time having to know exactly what I am saying (in the least words possible) before I say it. I like your voice here although it does bring a feeling that you are sad to me that makes me want to give you a big hug (((edge))). While I definitely have been there and done that it was 30 years ago here in my small isolated city (repeat encounters the norm); I fell in love almost nightly. I did a similar thing before that during my teens just not in bars; I rationalize quantity allowed some quality exchange, but I do feel what you are communicating here.

When you talk about the feeling honesty of communication brings, it brings to mind two encounters I have had specifically. The first chronologically was around summer 1991 before my twin's father and I split. I was partying at the lake I lived at then while he and the kids were at home, I believe it was at the point I had decided to do the old what's good for the goose thing. It was late and several people were passed out around the campfire. I had a conversation with the other conscious person, a man but the only reason I remember that is because I remember it was not sexual at all and the only way that would be tagged is if it was a man as I am not bisexual (this time around). It was this conversation about the meaning of life that the puzzle concept I have was formed (spoken out loud and discussed), and it felt like a special encounter even then as I just knew this was important. I have no idea who this person is or what they really recall of the night, but I think they do recall it as a special encounter as well. Another special experience of the power of communication done well was in a class I took in 2000 or so where reflective listening was being taught. Someone spoke of their feelings about their life right then and I returned his ideas in my own words better, he said, than he had put them forth. Everyone got goose bumps and I can be pretty sure everyone felt it as important.

You have something important to say as well, and you have a good voice. Thank you for putting yourself out there.
Love to you and yours
Bette

_________________
All That Is
what is?
Consciousness.

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