Hi Tinte and welcome to the forum.
You are recognizing that you are operating almost completely from the intellectual level. It is best to have a balance with the intellect and the intuition level. Tom just did a video on this.
Here is another post from Tom
that might be of some use:
Stop thinking, judging, expecting, analyzing, comparing, assessing, guessing, second guessing, assuming, etc. Stop thinking. Just be and experience existence without analysis. Simply experience the world you sense without attaching anything to it with your intellect. Be in the moment, observe without assessing or judging everything by how it affects and interacts with you. Do what seems intuitively right each moment -- accept and learn from the consequences -- experience/live reality moment by moment rather than limiting your reality to a little more than a reflection of fears, worries, needs and wants projected by your intellect.
http://www.my-big-toe.com/forums/viewto ... 149#p61149
And don't be too hard on yourself. This is a struggle most of us have.