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PostPosted: Wed Mar 16, 2016 6:28 am 
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Hello everyone!

I decided to name this thread after a line which Tom likes to repeat a number of times.

It strikes me particularly due to my never-ending battle with uncertainty. Ever since I was very young, I could never stop asking questions while everyone else was busy just living without a care in the world (at least no care related to existential matters). I am an introverted over-thinker who has an extremely difficult time getting my mind to take a break.

However, in those days, most of my fears and worries came mostly from matters relating to the ego such as not feeling loved and getting the short end of the stick (realistically/VRistically?, I was well off in everything besides social matters).

In the last 3 years, my questions have slowly went to the bigger picture and this is where the problems start. I have come to find that asking questions relating to why or how we are here to be extremely difficult to handle. Most of my fear/anxiety comes from this area thanks to my new-found fear of death (which randomly came out of nowhere since no traumatic events happened).

As I explained in a previous thread, events lead me to discover the MBT model which I can really resonate with. This had led me to believe to start practice meditation. Since I am still in the starting stage, I have not attempted OOBE, visiting NPMR, remote viewing or anything of the sort. I have however, constantly been remembering a lot of dreams every night (which destroys my sleep!) and caused me to reflect on a lot of my ego issues in life.

The problem is that I suffer from uncertainty where I constantly have to question whether any given thing is real or not. There is always that "What if? Maybe it's just..." questioning which plagues everything I do, not to mention the fact that I cannot discuss these concepts with anyone (and the ones I can tell me to go and prove this stuff). I find myself trapped inside my own brain because it's such a complicated (at least we think so) piece of evolution that we do not what it is capable of and therefore interferes with 'Truth'.

My question is how can Tom speak with such confidence in his videos? Uncertainty does not bother him at all. If it was me, I would probably just go crazy with the constant questioning which goes on in my mind.

Is it because his years of experience lead him to a high degree of certainty? Or because he learned to ignore the uncertainties?

Sorry for the long post but I struggle with condensing my thoughts!

Thanks!

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Luke


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PostPosted: Wed Mar 16, 2016 7:23 am 
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First I would suggest that you access this book by Davide Keirsey, Please Understand Me II which subject, personality types and testing, Tom introduced the board to. Tom is for instance an INTP Architect (of theories, not buildings) and I am an INFJ Counselor and if you read about these two personality types in these books you will find both Tom (down to the phrase, be open minded but skeptical) and I described as if the sections were written about us. You might find yourself accurately described there and a great deal of your characteristics explained. When you take the test, (either on line (http://www.keirsey.com/sorter/register.aspx) or in the book), if you don't read about the type you test as and have an 'AhHa' moment as you see yourself described very accurately, you have been taking the test without really following the instructions and thinking about the answers correctly. The odds are fairly high that you are a type which is relatively rare and thus you do not find many who resonate to the same questions that you ask.

After this, you seem to be going the right directions. Meditate, don't rush into trying for OOBE, etc., but just try to primarily reduce internal chatter and create a connection to guidance, whether it comes across as specific entities who offer you information if you ask or as just information popping into your thought stream. Beyond this, I suggest that you read Tom's books and continue watching his videos. There are reasons which I have repeated on the board several times to consider Tom's metaphysics as pretty much on track as it can literally be traced as concepts all the way back millennia ago to ancient India before the Buddha. There is much discussion on the board about this. Not by Tom as I'm not really sure he was aware of this and did not use it in his work of exploration and analysis. Come here if you have specific questions that you need answered or explanations for things in the book or Tom's videos. Tom does answer questions, but he is very busy and he did set up this board and assign us (as the Administrators and Moderators) to manage it and as having the knowledge to answer most such questions for you. There is also a thread on the board where questions that still puzzle readers and viewers are collected to be answered by Tom on a semi-monthly 'Fireside Chat' as he calls it.

Good luck. You have basically come to the right place.

Ted


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PostPosted: Wed Mar 16, 2016 7:39 am 
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Basically, I think Tom would say you have to find out for yourself, it's the only way to truly "know" anything. You are on the right track with meditation, but it's best not to have any pre conceived ideas about it. Don't meditate with the goal of having an OBE, use meditation to clear and quiet your intellectual mind and you will find the answers your looking for start to come to you. Right now you can't hear the answers over the constant chatter going on in your head. It's like being in a crowed noisy room with people talking loudly and trying to hear a whisper from the other side of the room. Don't judge what you find until you have plenty of experience, be open minded and skeptical.

I can tell you what I know. You are loved, you can not die even if you want to (consciousness is eternal), you overcome fear with courage (every problem or challenge seems impossible at first, once it is solved it becomes elementary). You must experience these truths for yourself in order to "know".

Again, practice, practice, practice meditation (quiet your mind). Have no expectations about what will happen and what if anything you will find. Be prepared to accept (with open minded skepticism) whatever you get and however you get it, even if that means you get an empty head (at least you won't be so worried anymore). Don't "think"...just..."be".

Good luck (even though you don't really need it). You are at the beginning of an extraordinary journey and we're all rooting for you! :)


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PostPosted: Wed Mar 16, 2016 9:56 am 
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Here are a couple of very good posts from Tom that go to what you are struggling with.

TOM:

The fears and needs of our everyday existence represent the challenges we have to work with - one should not think of them as negative, evil, or bad things to be avoided, rather as challenges to be met. Dealing effectively with them, reducing them, and overcoming them for ourselves and for others define the PMR virtual reality game we are enrolled in. The point of being here is to learn and grow - not to be perfect. Feeling flawed or guilty because you are not perfect is counterproductive, useless and silly. That you have fear, needs, wants, and ego is not nearly as important as how you deal with them - how effectively you learn and grow from the opportunities they represent.
viewtopic.php?f=7&t=2971&p=6943&hilit=w ... d+in#p6943

Living gracefully with uncertainty is one of your major challenges. The companion to that lesson is to learn how to make progress with effort and focused intent but without exerting any control/manipulation of self to make things go the way you think they should. Growth is natural and follows at its own speed as you change at the being level – that process cannot be rushed very much or pushed by the intellect.

To optimize progress:

1) make each tiny, great and mundane choice reflect doing the right thing for the right reason.

2) Search for beliefs, fears, and expectations, as well as attitudes and feelings that reflect ego, and eliminate them at the being level.

3) Live fully engaged in the moment, in the present, and approach existence with love, compassion, and open minded skepticism. Learn everything you can learn about everything, engage others in relationship, travel, and experience (this will broaden and deepen your experience base and thus enrich and support accurate interpretation in all the realities you experience.) Focus on those four and everything else (including your facility and exploration of NPMR) will fall out naturally around your interests and intents.

viewtopic.php?f=13&t=6319&p=45178#p45178

You take death too seriously because you have a little picture PMR-based local perspective. The LCS self-optimizes in the big picture and for the long term - not in the PMR little picture short term. Like us, the LCS also has a limited decision space and must make choices to optimize its evolution. It makes those choices based on the probability of entropy reduction along each of the alternative paths. Remember nobody really dies - a few characters in the virtual reality swap reality frames for a very short time (as seen in the big picture).

The down side is a few premature recyclings, the significance of which for those particular individuals (and everyone associated with those individuals) gets figured into the system optimizing process. The system optimizes within its constraints. The outcome depends on what each character was likely to gain or lose for each of the alternative futures. Nobody's evolutionary potential or growth opportunities are seriously damaged. Typically, everybody wins. Remember, there are random components, not everything is planned - the system is probabilistic not deterministic - it works (gets it right) most of the time, not all the time -- it is not a perfect system. It achieves successful optimization at the system level more often than not.

viewtopic.php?f=19&t=4967&p=22649&hilit=mother#p22649


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 17, 2016 6:30 am 
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Quote:
First I would suggest that you access this book by Davide Keirsey, Please Understand Me II which subject, personality types and testing, Tom introduced the board to. Tom is for instance an INTP Architect (of theories, not buildings) and I am an INFJ Counselor and if you read about these two personality types in these books you will find both Tom (down to the phrase, be open minded but skeptical) and I described as if the sections were written about us. You might find yourself accurately described there and a great deal of your characteristics explained. When you take the test, (either on line (http://www.keirsey.com/sorter/register.aspx) or in the book), if you don't read about the type you test as and have an 'AhHa' moment as you see yourself described very accurately, you have been taking the test without really following the instructions and thinking about the answers correctly. The odds are fairly high that you are a type which is relatively rare and thus you do not find many who resonate to the same questions that you ask.

After this, you seem to be going the right directions. Meditate, don't rush into trying for OOBE, etc., but just try to primarily reduce internal chatter and create a connection to guidance, whether it comes across as specific entities who offer you information if you ask or as just information popping into your thought stream. Beyond this, I suggest that you read Tom's books and continue watching his videos. There are reasons which I have repeated on the board several times to consider Tom's metaphysics as pretty much on track as it can literally be traced as concepts all the way back millennia ago to ancient India before the Buddha. There is much discussion on the board about this. Not by Tom as I'm not really sure he was aware of this and did not use it in his work of exploration and analysis. Come here if you have specific questions that you need answered or explanations for things in the book or Tom's videos. Tom does answer questions, but he is very busy and he did set up this board and assign us (as the Administrators and Moderators) to manage it and as having the knowledge to answer most such questions for you. There is also a thread on the board where questions that still puzzle readers and viewers are collected to be answered by Tom on a semi-monthly 'Fireside Chat' as he calls it.

Good luck. You have basically come to the right place.

Ted
Thanks a lot, Ted! I really appreciate your advice.

I will definitely pick up and read the book you mentioned. I took the test and I got INFP as a result and I read the description to which I completely agreed to. I tend to use my intuition a lot and it is infact my intuition which led me to study mysticism and spirituality to which I mysteriously resonated with, in the absence of personal evidence. It seems to be quite a rare personality type (though not the most rare) which explains the frustration I experience when trying to explain certain concepts (including MBT).

MBT was the natural next step to that intuition and I found that I can understand most of the theory without much difficulty, even though something new ALWAYS clicks every time I review the content. I see it as a scientist trying to merge this knowledge with western culture and I think he is amazing for doing this.

You don't have to worry about me reading about MBT :) I bought the trilogy and am currently going through the second book. Insert watching Tom's videos constantly, reading the forums and wiki constantly and I have also bought the audio books. You can practically say my life revolves around MBT at the present time. In a sense, I wish to follow a path similar to Tom.

I will definitely keep an eye out on this forum!
Quote:
Basically, I think Tom would say you have to find out for yourself, it's the only way to truly "know" anything. You are on the right track with meditation, but it's best not to have any pre conceived ideas about it. Don't meditate with the goal of having an OBE, use meditation to clear and quiet your intellectual mind and you will find the answers your looking for start to come to you. Right now you can't hear the answers over the constant chatter going on in your head. It's like being in a crowed noisy room with people talking loudly and trying to hear a whisper from the other side of the room. Don't judge what you find until you have plenty of experience, be open minded and skeptical.

I can tell you what I know. You are loved, you can not die even if you want to (consciousness is eternal), you overcome fear with courage (every problem or challenge seems impossible at first, once it is solved it becomes elementary). You must experience these truths for yourself in order to "know".

Again, practice, practice, practice meditation (quiet your mind). Have no expectations about what will happen and what if anything you will find. Be prepared to accept (with open minded skepticism) whatever you get and however you get it, even if that means you get an empty head (at least you won't be so worried anymore). Don't "think"...just..."be".

Good luck (even though you don't really need it). You are at the beginning of an extraordinary journey and we're all rooting for you! :)
Thanks for the words of encouragement VirtualBrain!

In a way, I kind of knew what Tom would probably answer me as it has become obvious to me that the path of knowledge needs to be explored by me. (Apart from the fact that Tom always seems to have an answer for everything regardless!).

Currently, I am placing a lot of focus on getting better with meditation, as difficult as it seems to be. I don't really find it hard to motivate myself for meditation as I see it as a starting point for the path I truly wish to follow.

Again, thank you for the encouragement!

_________________
Luke


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 17, 2016 6:33 am 
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Quote:
Here are a couple of very good posts from Tom that go to what you are struggling with.

TOM:

The fears and needs of our everyday existence represent the challenges we have to work with - one should not think of them as negative, evil, or bad things to be avoided, rather as challenges to be met. Dealing effectively with them, reducing them, and overcoming them for ourselves and for others define the PMR virtual reality game we are enrolled in. The point of being here is to learn and grow - not to be perfect. Feeling flawed or guilty because you are not perfect is counterproductive, useless and silly. That you have fear, needs, wants, and ego is not nearly as important as how you deal with them - how effectively you learn and grow from the opportunities they represent.
viewtopic.php?f=7&t=2971&p=6943&hilit=w ... d+in#p6943

Living gracefully with uncertainty is one of your major challenges. The companion to that lesson is to learn how to make progress with effort and focused intent but without exerting any control/manipulation of self to make things go the way you think they should. Growth is natural and follows at its own speed as you change at the being level – that process cannot be rushed very much or pushed by the intellect.

To optimize progress:

1) make each tiny, great and mundane choice reflect doing the right thing for the right reason.

2) Search for beliefs, fears, and expectations, as well as attitudes and feelings that reflect ego, and eliminate them at the being level.

3) Live fully engaged in the moment, in the present, and approach existence with love, compassion, and open minded skepticism. Learn everything you can learn about everything, engage others in relationship, travel, and experience (this will broaden and deepen your experience base and thus enrich and support accurate interpretation in all the realities you experience.) Focus on those four and everything else (including your facility and exploration of NPMR) will fall out naturally around your interests and intents.

viewtopic.php?f=13&t=6319&p=45178#p45178

You take death too seriously because you have a little picture PMR-based local perspective. The LCS self-optimizes in the big picture and for the long term - not in the PMR little picture short term. Like us, the LCS also has a limited decision space and must make choices to optimize its evolution. It makes those choices based on the probability of entropy reduction along each of the alternative paths. Remember nobody really dies - a few characters in the virtual reality swap reality frames for a very short time (as seen in the big picture).

The down side is a few premature recyclings, the significance of which for those particular individuals (and everyone associated with those individuals) gets figured into the system optimizing process. The system optimizes within its constraints. The outcome depends on what each character was likely to gain or lose for each of the alternative futures. Nobody's evolutionary potential or growth opportunities are seriously damaged. Typically, everybody wins. Remember, there are random components, not everything is planned - the system is probabilistic not deterministic - it works (gets it right) most of the time, not all the time -- it is not a perfect system. It achieves successful optimization at the system level more often than not.

viewtopic.php?f=19&t=4967&p=22649&hilit=mother#p22649
Such wonderful quotes Sainbury! Thank you for finding them!

They really helped and it is funny how Tom always has an answer for everything! Even when I think about what to ask him, I notice that he probably already answered it (and in great detail in many occassions)!

I really appreciate everyone's help!

_________________
Luke


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 17, 2016 6:56 am 
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What you are noticing is that there are fundamental problems which all people (avatars of IUOCs in PMR) seem to have that are bothersome to all people and that there are fundamental approaches to solving and removing those problems. We all face these same fundamental problems as we develop our QOC and reduce our entropy on the path from new IUOCs to one who has been around the track many times. Not that there are not unique problems for individuals, but that there are fundamental similarities and a nearly universal path of growth to be followed, despite the myriads of variations. Tom is not new at this but has served as a sort of 'trouble shooter' for the management of Our System for several incarnations in preparation for this present project. He does not however say anything beyond this.

Ted


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 17, 2016 7:10 am 
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Ted, a nice summation. Linda , Tom's words always seem help clear the fog.
Mike


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 17, 2016 8:21 am 
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Quote:
What you are noticing is that there are fundamental problems which all people (avatars of IUOCs in PMR) seem to have that are bothersome to all people and that there are fundamental approaches to solving and removing those problems. We all face these same fundamental problems as we develop our QOC and reduce our entropy on the path from new IUOCs to one who has been around the track many times. Not that there are not unique problems for individuals, but that there are fundamental similarities and a nearly universal path of growth to be followed, despite the myriads of variations. Tom is not new at this but has served as a sort of 'trouble shooter' for the management of Our System for several incarnations in preparation for this present project. He does not however say anything beyond this.

Ted
That is a very good point!

I used to spend a lot of time constantly feeling sorry for myself and thinking that the world was against me. Only later (recently) did I realize that it wasn't all that bad after all but it seemed huge since I had an enormous ego.

Just wished people would be interested in finding truth and explore rather than spending life thinking that they would rather not die a fool than find truth.

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Luke


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