Return Home
It is currently Thu Oct 17, 2019 2:47 pm

All times are UTC-06:00


Forum rules


Do not make an initial post to start a new thread on this forum once you advance beyond the beginner level of posts. This forum is an experiment with the purpose of encouraging the participation of those who have so far only hung out in the background and looked over the bulletin board. It is intended to be a place where things are orderly for beginners without the free interaction of the main board. Post only with care for the recognition that we are welcoming a new member and not arguing with a fellow old timer. Your cooperation is appreciated.



Post new topic  Reply to topic  [ 13 posts ] 
Author Message
PostPosted: Fri Sep 13, 2019 8:27 am 
Offline
Newbie
Newbie

Joined: Thu Jun 07, 2018 7:32 am
Posts: 9
I finally found one of my biggest hidden fears, and it was not actually all that hidden.

The day my son was born almost 28 years ago, I said to his dad: Everyone told me about falling in love like never before. Nobody told me how much instant pain comes with that.

I've lived in stress since my son's day of birth. The fear that started that day was that my son would experience physical pain, and especially that he would experience emotional pain.

Well of course he would experience these things. DUH!

This fear has been hidden behind the background belief that parents should hurt for their children. The foreground belief is that PMR is packed with people, so living in stress due to hurting for one particular person is not good work. It hurts me and it does help anyone in my circle.

The strength of this fear is shown by this belief I have: "If he died, I would find relief."

I assume that I will be able to begin letting go of this fear now that I have identified it (about 10 minutes ago), but any input will be greatly appreciated.


Top
PostPosted: Fri Sep 13, 2019 9:16 am 
Offline
Power Poster
Power Poster
User avatar

Joined: Wed Apr 28, 2010 6:31 pm
Posts: 3454
Location: Florario/Ontorida
I don’t have kids so maybe I should not weigh
in on this, but there is a more universal aspect
related to unproductive empathy for any sentience.

Most negative emotional states related to the trials
and tribulations of others may be viewed as entropy, all
the more so if it is non-local/personal or is not
a brief trigger to helpful intent-action-result-feedback.

If the performance measurement is alleviation
of the pain of others, your empathy pain plays
no helpful role in actual performance of remedies.

For example, my niece, a cardiac intensive care
nurse, deals with life and death and pain every
day, but she is effective because she can maintain
a clinical fascination with the process and not
get overwhelmed.

So if I need help, I would prefer a detached
technician to someone hobbled with emotion.

I think we also have to shift our perspective on
pain, struggle, disappointment. Most of it, for
most people, are assaults on our egos, false dreams
and expectations.

The one thing that is authentically upsetting, is physical pain
that meds won’t touch. No getting around that
philosophically.

If we adopt the TOEist lens, the mental pain is the point,
it is the artist’s chisel drawing out our
higher self hidden within. It is the
immersive experience nudging us to
grow up.

Once at the Spiritualists, when I was going
through my life big SHIT (super high intensity training)
it was brought up that my father on the other
side had asked for me to be spared the SHIT, but
was told that it was a necessary lesson.

The best thing you could do is to grow up as much
as you can, learn to deal with your shit, with
serenity and non neurotic intent-action-result-feedback, as
an example for your son to follow.

Challenges of all types are the actual fun of the
adventure. Even death is merely an opportunity
to rest and then start a new game.

If you can’t internalize that, it may be useful
to invest in directly acquired evidence that you
are more than your body.

_________________
Does this PMR make my butt look big?


Top
PostPosted: Fri Sep 13, 2019 9:57 am 
Offline
Power Poster
Power Poster
User avatar

Joined: Sat Feb 06, 2010 6:54 pm
Posts: 5727
Location: Ocala, FL
As hard as this may be to hear, this fear isn't really about your son. You have just attached it to your son. And I am guessing that you have a lot of other fears as well. The fear is about you and your ego. You want reality to go the way you want. You want for there never to be any pain or suffering in life, because you are afraid you can't handle it. But you have made it this far in your life handling everything that has come your way. Tom has a saying, "Learn to live gracefully with uncertainty." Have some confidence in your self and those around you that you, and they, will always do their best with whatever life throws at them. And by doing that you will learn and grow from your mistakes. It is the only way to evolve the quality of your consciousness. You learn very little from a life without any lessons.


Top
PostPosted: Sun Sep 15, 2019 3:16 pm 
Offline
Power Poster
Power Poster
User avatar

Joined: Wed Jun 18, 2008 8:39 am
Posts: 296
TerryLC,

I do get where you are coming from, When my son was born I became a protector of an innocent and pure spark who I wanted to mature into a great spark without loosing his light for life. I know I was over protective most of the time and that was caused by my own fear of failure to protect adequately. But in the mean time I worked hard and found out 1000% for myself that we do not die!! And when my son left the house at 16 to start college it was a huge adjustment for me but it was something he really wanted to do , his energy was no longer here, it felt like a big piece of me was gone and that took some time and effort to get over. If my son died by natural causes or accident I would selfishly grieve and shed a few tears that I would no longer get to interact with that being who agreed to play my son , who I protected and became friends with and who taught me many things. But this is kind of the same way I also feel for any of the animals I have formed relationships / friendships with. Now if a animal predator took the life of one of my animal friends I would hunt, kill and eat it. If a human predator ended my son……… The only thing saving the individual from the horrors I would unleash is if he got lucky enough to end me first or was already in a prison surrounded by armed men. And I know I am going to get an earful from the committee on the other side if this happens but it’s worth it to me in my current state of understanding!! There is a big difference in how men and women think about this, My wife says she has nothing else to live for if her son dies and wants to move on, all I can do when I hear this is to listen and not voice my opinion which only makes the conversation turn sour and tense. But I bet if you do find out for yourself , proof that you continue on…it will help you with a great many things.

-Toby


Top
PostPosted: Sun Sep 15, 2019 3:39 pm 
Offline
Power Poster
Power Poster
User avatar

Joined: Wed Apr 28, 2010 6:31 pm
Posts: 3454
Location: Florario/Ontorida
I think it’s more like we are actors on a stage, and
the good (old souls) and the bad (fresh souls), have
a cast party after and have some drinks and laughs
about what happened, evil or otherwise.

Prizes go to “most improved” at the level
of intent.

_________________
Does this PMR make my butt look big?


Top
PostPosted: Fri Sep 20, 2019 5:34 pm 
Offline
Power Poster
Power Poster
User avatar

Joined: Wed Jun 18, 2008 8:39 am
Posts: 296
Kroeran,

I would love this if true… its just not something I have experienced in the other realities as of yet, maybe its because I’ve been to other realities and not backstage 😉

-Toby


Top
PostPosted: Fri Sep 20, 2019 7:37 pm 
Offline
Power Poster
Power Poster
User avatar

Joined: Wed Apr 28, 2010 6:31 pm
Posts: 3454
Location: Florario/Ontorida
Just a metaphor to remind me that we are
apparently eternal conciousness playing an
immersive variation of paintball.

The mother bear protective impulse regarding
children would likely be the greatest test of
detachment from primordial fears.

The therapeutic intention is to offer a philosophical
approach to nurturing a more healthy detachment, consistent
with Tom’s guidance.

True or not, a belief that we are more than our
physical bodies is a great comfort.

For example, a young person we care about, is
taking calculated risks in risky places around the
planet, but we are comforted that she is gaining
extraordinary life experience, worth even the risk
of death.

Because death is simply the beginning of another
learning cycle.

More to be legitimately feared is the forming of intent from
our lower self, allowing entropy to disintegrate
our integrity.

Or so goes the idea.

_________________
Does this PMR make my butt look big?


Top
PostPosted: Fri Sep 20, 2019 9:36 pm 
Offline
Power Poster
Power Poster

Joined: Sun Jan 24, 2016 11:44 am
Posts: 969
From what I’ve read, lions and bears subscribe to a rather Darwinist version of reality. Reflections?

While a mother bear may try to protect her cubs from an invading male bear, if she is overpowered by the male, he will eat her cubs. She will then allow him to mate with her and bear his cubs, defending them appropriately until... Similar for lions.

Deer, elk, bison, antelope and such will circle around each other to try to protect themselves, unless the one being hunted is particularly weak due to old age or disease. They will give up the weak to save themselves.

It ain’t easy being at the top or the bottom of the food chain. :(


Top
PostPosted: Sat Sep 21, 2019 5:05 am 
Offline
Power Poster
Power Poster
User avatar

Joined: Wed Apr 28, 2010 6:31 pm
Posts: 3454
Location: Florario/Ontorida
Interesting how the primal switches
play out in different scenarios.

Here in Canada, lore is that if you
encounter a bear cub in the woods,
you get out of the situation fast, because
to be between a mother bear and a
cub is almost certain death.

My current thinking is that the evolutionary
purpose of anxiety, pick your poison, ie any
anxious focus will do, is to prod you into
productive distraction.

The mechanism breaks down when you
interrupt the flow from anxiety to
activity with one of the many forms
of artificial masking or useless activity.

_________________
Does this PMR make my butt look big?


Top
PostPosted: Thu Oct 03, 2019 9:59 pm 
Offline
Power Poster
Power Poster
User avatar

Joined: Wed Jun 18, 2008 8:39 am
Posts: 296
Kroeran,

Yeah,, that mother bear metaphor thing you talk about does seem to play a decent size part with me, not just family and not just with our species and its even persistent in other reality systems, my feeling is only amplified in most of those, basically don’t hurt the week or innocent in front of me. I don’t go out and look for it, I don’t want it, Id rather be doing experiencing and exploring anything else but if I cross a Dbag -any species! harming another and the another wants help and doesn’t want whats going on.. I stick my big ass nose in the middle of it , Sometimes here I think to myself,, what if I just walk by like nothing is happening,, ignore it,,, it just an imagination,,, but my mind works completely different from here, its almost instinctual like breathing. No thinking, its a knowing while your doing. My mind does not know 100% yet that all thoes different experiences and places were just a game, that there isn’t a fight here locally and one going on behind the scenes with the light and the dark. If I knew that answer, the shit I could let go off would be amazing but until then I have to follow my gut, until I know a truth. Continue to strive forward and have great struggles and tribulation for the stories we can tell 😊

Have a good one dude.
-Toby


Top
PostPosted: Fri Oct 04, 2019 9:16 am 
Offline
Power Poster
Power Poster
User avatar

Joined: Sat Feb 06, 2010 6:54 pm
Posts: 5727
Location: Ocala, FL
Humans rarely encounter a life a death situation like between predators and prey, or even between the male and female of a prey species. So you have to look to your Intent behind the actions, and decisions, you take. Interfering in a situation may help the person but may be damaging to you if your Intent is to feel good about yourself. Sometimes interfering isn't good for you or the other person.


Top
PostPosted: Sat Oct 05, 2019 9:20 am 
Offline
Power Poster
Power Poster
User avatar

Joined: Sun Apr 14, 2013 6:09 pm
Posts: 855
Location: Colombia, South America
TerryLC. Same thing happens to me! Sometimes I wish someone would die to avoid suffering. The solution is to manage the relationship !


Top
PostPosted: Sat Oct 05, 2019 5:17 pm 
Offline
Power Poster
Power Poster
User avatar

Joined: Wed Jun 18, 2008 8:39 am
Posts: 296
Sainbury,

Thank you for your input, your words have been absorbed and are being processed 😊 . I have to agree with you on this in my situation/location, I have searched for the human predator in my area late at night and early morning , I don’t know if you would call them predator or coward, thoes who seek out the week for personal gratification, but I have not found one worthy enough to be called a predator in my area. Other states in the USA and several other countries and realities do have a very high rate of death from the predator/ prey and from the same species. I cannot say if interfering in a situation when you are delivered to the doorstep of it and you are specifically asked for help is damaging or a learning experience, I do not have the knowledge to say either way ,even if a particular learning experience takes you 7 years to recover from but it’s a learning experience non the less. When you are out you meet a wide verity of beings, a few in my experience want nothing but your destruction and they don’t want to communicate and have a 100% focus on removing you, if I had to say they do seem like programmed beings with only 1 purpose , I have always given the boogeyman or any being wanting to cause me harm or just to cause fear and to frighten a chance to communicate, talk it out, find out what the problem is between you and I , a nonviolent solution 1st and foremost, most of the time I can end this type of encounter without harm coming to the individual before I am forced to flip the switch from Love, sympathy ,caring and understanding,, which does take a lot to get me to even put my mind on the switch. I am not a hug it out with the one who is trying to destroy you type of guy in any reality I find myself in, I try to give every possible chance to come to some sort of understanding. Remember.. you are given what you need for your growth, you learn more from your direct experiences than from the words of others but occasionally thoes words do ring true to some and help from time to time to give you another way of looking at things when your mind is currently focused and unbending. When you say ,, Sometimes interfering isn't good for you or the other person.. That’s the main reason I no longer do healings,,, well that’s exactly not true, if someone is asking with great emotion and I feel it,, I do spend a few days with everything I have to help. But this is also as you say is interfering with another’s path and learning. I am only working through what the system has laid out before me to experience. I started with Shirley McClean, Robert Monroe about 35 years ago and had expectations of mulit colored realities with swirls of consciousness energy beings playing here and there with the angelic music playing in the background and loving entities appearing, telling me you made it!!!!…this has been 100% not what I have experienced,, so much for expectations 😊

Toby


Top
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic  Reply to topic  [ 13 posts ] 

All times are UTC-06:00


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Jump to:  
Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Limited