I came across Tom's youtube videos about two weeks ago, and just kinda marinated in the ideas a bit. I didn't at first grasp the virtual reality idea. When I'd heard of or thought of the idea of our reality being just a simulation, I had thought it was either too horrifying to consider, or that even if it were true, it wouldn't do much good to go with that theory because it would probably just make you crazy or irresponsible, since "life is just a video game". So I never really gave it the whole consideration, until recently.
Six months ago, I lost my dear girlfriend of 8 years to a drug overdose. She was quite the bright student of mythology, consciousness studies, religion, remote viewing, ufo's, ancient cultures and language, Egyptian spirituality, Gurdjieff, mystical Orthodox Christianity, Tibetan Buddhism, music, art, film, archeology.... she had a deep and neverending fascination with all this stuff. I miss her dearly. Her sudden death knocked the wind out of me, and it's been a struggle. There were times a few months ago when I really really wanted to die, as then I'd at least be theoretically closer to her. I began researching consciousness after death, learning about spirit guides and the stuff mediums talk about. I've always been a rather skeptical/science person, however some crazy psychic moments in my life have shown me that science has yet to catch up to the paranormal. So even though I believe in remote viewing, mediums, psychics, ufo's, it'd be safer to say that I believe the experience of the experiencers most of the time, although I know there is so much gobbeldygook in those worlds that it gets confusing. I have been living in that confusion for a long, long time. "I intellectually believe in mystical experience and non-locality, however I also see contradictions in people's reports, which brings in doubt, and I have a fear that death is final as well". It's an uncomfortable place to rest one's outlook of reality on.
Since my girlfriend's death, I've had more first evidence of communication from "beyond", or at least something very strange going on. A connection. Reading more about between-lives-regressions and things of this sort started to make more sense of things, but still couldn't fit such things into a view of reality that made any damn sense. Then watching one of Tom's videos, things shifted inside me, and it was very physical and emotional once the intellect grabbed hold of the general theory. ALL this strange phenomenon made perfect sense, including all the contradictions within. The credible and the not-so-sure-about's finally coexisted within a logical framework that worked for me. It explained all my confusions of my whole life. I've never given up on the strange, but there were some years that I decided I had better get my head out of the clouds and get some practical living in. When the Big TOE finally clicked for me, I felt euphoric and heightened, and then I couldn't sleep. I had to work the next day. Then at 4am, it felt like a large energy came inside me, or through me, and it scared the hell out of me. I was so afraid, I could barely stand it. It was mostly like a vibration and a hard to understand feeling. After sort of twisting with fear for a while, I was able to calm down, and the feeling of fear softened. Then I had to work, so I showered and got ready. I felt like I was changed forever, and there was no denying the force of what happened. I didn't know how to interpret it, but if I had to at the moment, it was the LCS connecting with me or testing me, making contact to communicate that indeed, it is real, and there is something to this Big TOE idea. In other words, "Pay Attention!". Also, it was exactly 6 months after my girlfriend had died, and there were other strange synchronicities, including possible communications from her, and others too numerable to mention here yet. It was an incredible experience, and I learned a lesson about how much fear I have. I'm very, very afraid, deep down. I'd like to work on that. I like how Tom starts with physics/philosophy and eventually ends up with "love is the answer", basically. I've known that I've wanted to become more love for a long time, but have been too afraid to make more steps. Maybe things have shifted enough for me that I can change and avoid stagnation. I look forward to good conversation here, with this, the most interesting of ideas.