You are right on, Laikashadow! What you have said is exactly right... feeling from within the positivity, happiness, joy, etc. which will help you with everything throughout life. You are certainly moving in the right direction by taking responsibility for your actions and reacting very differently and positively instead of negatively. That's what it's all about. You will develop your own ways of metering yourself from within, and it sounds like you are definitely on the right track and are already learning this.
Know right from wrong... that is a great meter. If you are in a situation in which you want to do something a certain way, but you are questioning whether you should or not, ponder it for a while first before acting. Ask yourself, "Who will I hurt if I choose this way... if anyone?" "Will I hurt only myself, or will I also negatively affect others as well?"
Of course, no one is perfect, so don't get caught up too much into minute trivial things, but it's a good base to work from. Don't be too hard on yourself in terms of making decisions about what you should or shouldn't eat and things like that. Don't be controlling with yourself. Instead, think of how you can become the best person you can possibly be, and think of how you can influence others in the same way to help them want to do the same. That way, it can and will spread to your children, your other family members, to your friends, and to society in general.
Be a positive model for everyone you come into contact with. Even if you are at the store and someone is rude to you, remember that they are reacting to something that is going on within them, so don't take it personally. Instead, be pleasant and smile and continue being the good person you are, and see how that rude person reacts to you. In most cases, people like that will get the hint. Whether they start changing from that point on or just wake up and realize they don't like how they are being, it should influence them in a positive way. This is the way you can help make everything better and more positive.
Continue to take things in a calm manner and don't get too caught up into things that don't go your way. I know exactly what you are saying, because I was at this stage at one time in my life, and I am SO HAPPY I have learned to let it go.
Perhaps you see this as giving up more of your "you" time, but doesn't it feel better that way? You can still find and make time for yourself. Take advantage of situations when your children are in school, are playing, are with friends, etc. Learn how to maximize your time so you can get the best out of it, and so the ones around you will also benefit from it. There is no greater joy in this life than to be the best you can be and to "give" that to others. Just make sure you protect yourself from getting taken advantage of, though, because there are a lot of people who will do that. You have to find the balance of being who you are, that wonderful, spiritual person, while not opening yourself up to being hurt by others. I know... it shouldn't be that way, but until other people change themsevles for the better, it is inevitable.
Just be true and genuine and sincere and fair to yourself, learn how to look deep inside yourself for answers and to meter yourself, and you will be a terrific, positive influence on everyone around you. Have fun in this life, because it is an adventure and we are here for the purpose of learning and bettering ourselves!