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PostPosted: Wed Sep 04, 2019 8:04 am 
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Hello my friends,

the Situation is as followed:" My Grandmother is mostly alone and doesn't have that much talk anymore. Her husband died in 2014 and since then she got older fast.
For the most part, she seems pretty happy and is one of the most beautiful people I met so far. I feel some of her fears since she realizes her dementia and it appears to me that she runs away from it.

She was always just a helper person, never caring too much about herself. My grandfather was half-impaired, his right leg didn't work, so she was always there for him.
Now she is happy for every help she can offer and I gladly take it as she is probably happy to be helpful.
But now since she forgets everything within 10 seconds most of the time and not showing it to the outer world or asking for help or talking about her inner feelings, I don't know how to approach her.

I feel like she is circling in her head about herself not being able to remember things and then dismissing it telling herself "whatever". I mean she seems to be happy, especially if a person is just around her not challenging her too much. Is it my job to just give her a warm safe space where she doesn't have to think about her anxiety and dementia? Because if I ask her about stuff and she starts looking to the ground and realizes again that she forgets everything doesn't seem to be helpful.

She lives healthy without any drugs and meds (age of 78) but on the other hand, has interrupted sleep due to her bladder waking her up 5-8 times a night.

It feels like she is spinning around the same thought patterns (that she is afraid of forgetting something) and that makes everything even worse. I believe she can transform herself if she would believe in herself. Now I want your advice or any ideas and experiences you can share. Any tips I am glad to have.

Thank you!
Jan

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PostPosted: Wed Sep 04, 2019 9:49 am 
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Dementia, Alzheimer's, or whatever she has is probably not reversible. And for some people, it is a good way to ease out of the world. Just do your best to keep her company. Does she wear some kind of underwear for incontinence? It would keep her from getting up multiple times a night. Plans might have to be made if she gets so that she cannot be alone.


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PostPosted: Wed Sep 04, 2019 7:06 pm 
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I am quite confident your grandmother can be quite happy in her own subjective world and reality..
and i think the key for you if you keep thinking of her needs from her perspectives.. and i think everything will work out fine regarding the 2 of you :).. as you share time together in whatever PMR will create for the 2 of you..


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PostPosted: Wed Sep 04, 2019 8:01 pm 
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http://blogs.discovermagazine.com/crux/ ... XBqnblE3N4 research shows the cure is fasting.. but it must be their choice.. withholding food from elderly like that could be seen as cruel.. the body goes through a healing process and consumes and cleans out the brain of waste causing the issue . If it was my loved one I would suggest to them trying one day a week without food and if they can do that for several weeks have them try a few days here and there.. the body will consume any tumors or anything else negative as well . I think it can only help.. the fasting works to clean out the brain big time. I did 10 days and never had clearer thinking and meditation in my life. The issue is it is not easy when you have never gone more than a few hours without food in your life . Good luck.. "In Alzheimer’s patients, scientists have long known that harmful collections of proteins between nerve cells, called plaques, as well as proteins inside nerve cells, called tangles, start to accumulate. These plaques and tangles wreak havoc on the brain, killing cells and disrupting normal brain functions as they spread. What exactly causes these plaques and tangles to develop, and why people with them get Alzheimer’s disease, is still up in the air."


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PostPosted: Wed Sep 04, 2019 8:23 pm 
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I have seen many family members struggle with this ailment in later life. What I see happen across the family is they attempt to point out the lapse in memory or function as if it will do something in the "afflicted" persons mind to change it; very much a fear/control response from a very emotionally charged place(understably). I feel this is usually a projection of their own fears of lack of control in that situation later in their lives, and a reminder of their own mortality and temporary intellect. As Sain said above, this condition is not usually reversible, and is a bit of a buffer/transition between realities, and I would very much stand by this statement.

You know what makes her happy, and that is being of service to others, so do what you can to allow her to help in whatever capacity you can, make it about her. Allow her to help and project her generosity and love in the current physical capacity that she can. It is not about you or anyone else around her. Speak to her in ways she can understand to the best of her ability, take moments 10 seconds at a time if that is the delta she operates at.

Your analysis of her reality, and her actual reality are very, very different. Your analysis is woven in with your own fears, expectations and beliefs about her, life, brain function, and individual reality. This is a huge opportunity for you to truly step into her reality and release those intellectual judgements, and act with a loving intent.

Please note I am not attempting to over predict, incorrectly interpret, or do an over analysis of the situation, but hopefully this is helpful. This is very much colored with my own experience and insights, but I hope that it proves helpful.


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PostPosted: Wed Sep 04, 2019 8:47 pm 
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How about a healing request? I will try to help push the body to consume, remove and get rid of the negative matter causing the issue. It can only help. While sleeping and low on energy is best time I will nudge the body to consume this matter in the brain.. I am not sure if all damage can be reversed and healed fast but at least help..


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 05, 2019 12:37 am 
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Quote:
Hello my friends,

the Situation is as followed:" My Grandmother is mostly alone and doesn't have that much talk anymore. Her husband died in 2014 and since then she got older fast.
For the most part, she seems pretty happy and is one of the most beautiful people I met so far. I feel some of her fears since she realizes her dementia and it appears to me that she runs away from it.

She was always just a helper person, never caring too much about herself. My grandfather was half-impaired, his right leg didn't work, so she was always there for him.
Now she is happy for every help she can offer and I gladly take it as she is probably happy to be helpful.
But now since she forgets everything within 10 seconds most of the time and not showing it to the outer world or asking for help or talking about her inner feelings, I don't know how to approach her.

I feel like she is circling in her head about herself not being able to remember things and then dismissing it telling herself "whatever". I mean she seems to be happy, especially if a person is just around her not challenging her too much. Is it my job to just give her a warm safe space where she doesn't have to think about her anxiety and dementia? Because if I ask her about stuff and she starts looking to the ground and realizes again that she forgets everything doesn't seem to be helpful.

She lives healthy without any drugs and meds (age of 78) but on the other hand, has interrupted sleep due to her bladder waking her up 5-8 times a night.

It feels like she is spinning around the same thought patterns (that she is afraid of forgetting something) and that makes everything even worse. I believe she can transform herself if she would believe in herself. Now I want your advice or any ideas and experiences you can share. Any tips I am glad to have.

Thank you!
Jan
Whatever you choose will be the correct decision. Your souls are working in tandem. Your perception of her fear is your fear, physically manifested within your reality, so you may witness it in an external perspective as if it wasn’t you.

Approach with love and respect and make no assumptions, just do as you are asked, within reason, if it is your desire to help.

It isn’t easy. Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your Grandmother.


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 05, 2019 10:02 am 
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I would add one thing. Has your grandmother been diagnosed? There are some new drugs that can help.

From the Mayo Clinic: The following are used to temporarily improve dementia symptoms. Cholinesterase inhibitors. These medications — including donepezil (Aricept), rivastigmine (Exelon) and galantamine (Razadyne) — work by boosting levels of a chemical messenger involved in memory and judgment.


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 05, 2019 3:32 pm 
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i suggest this "brain healing" track on youtube titled;

Extremely Powerful Brain Healing Sounds - Heal Your Brain Fast w/ Binaural Beats - Meditation Music

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MV8_rpKjZvo

worth a try with good headphones.


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 06, 2019 4:44 am 
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Oh this is so wunderful to hear from you all and you can't imagine how helpful it is.
  • Quote:
    it is a good way to ease out of the world
    I really do a thing similar or at least that is something probably for me. I also do think that as she doesn't have too much meaningful interaction with the world anymore, so there is no need for her to be aware to that degree. Her focus is largly on the feeling space, so I come from that place also with a loving and caring Intent. SO the stuff we talk is just nothing important. (sometimes it is, and that is what she can also recall)
    She sleeps alot in the mid times between her midday sleep at 12-14 and night sleep and she seems very relaxed and shows so much gratitude for all things. Very positive person :).
  • Quote:
    Plans might have to be made if she gets so that she cannot be alone.
    Literally 3 days ago her daughters (my mother and aunt) where here to give authority to them in case of things happening.
    But you probably mean daycare or a homecare person. I think that is always a nice thing, especially if that person is grown up so to say.
  • Quote:
    I am quite confident your grandmother can be quite happy in her own subjective world and reality...
    and I think the key for you if you keep thinking of her needs from her perspectives.. and I think everything will work out fine regarding the 2 of you :).. as you share time together in whatever PMR will create for the 2 of you...
    Yes, I'll definitly do that. It is more important to just give her an open loving space than an intellectual picture from her filled with fear and false beliefs.
  • Quote:
    http://blogs.discovermagazine.com/crux/ ... XBqnblE3N4 research shows the cure is fasting...
    That is very helpful :) She has an eating schedule from 8 - 17:30 most of the time. So actually quite good. The problem with her is that she can hardly relax as she tells me that even some little occurrence in the future, like a visit from family, can't let her sleep midday because she always has to think about that. So I believe some meditation would be good for her. For me, it feels like she is spinning in her head around topics she can't let go of. I mean that is also one of my patterns.. but everyone is kinda like that. Some more than others.
  • Quote:
    Speak to her in ways she can understand to the best of her ability, take moments 10 seconds at a time if that is the delta she operates at.
    This especially was very helpful, being calm and talking more slowly would be better for her, but on the other hand she seems to like it if I am talking fast and excited and happy. Maybe it ist just because of the excitement and happyness. But she replies and asks questions on that topic and she can follow mostly everything what I say. But if she snaps out or it is some casual talk it repeats itself.
  • Quote:
    How about a healing request? I will try to help push the body to consume, remove and get rid of the negative matter causing the issue. It can only help. While sleeping and low on energy is best time I will nudge the body to consume this matter in the brain.. I am not sure if all damage can be reversed and healed fast but at least help..
    Thanks a lot THEONE, I'll definitly do the same, I'll also do a healing request in the forum :)
  • Quote:
    Your perception of her fear is your fear, physically manifested within your reality, so you may witness it in an external perspective as if it wasn’t you.
    I'll check that out! But yes I can see already how I project and interpret. Thank you!
    Seeing one person beeing confused was already a sad experience while my grandfather lied in bad on intensive-station in the hospital completely confused after having surgery at the gut - cancer. They made a mistake in closing the intestines and the body got contaminated and so he got weaker. My grandmother even took care of him 2014, where he then died at home with my grandmother. That is one big fear, not knowing what's up and beeing totally confused
  • Quote:
    Extremely Powerful Brain Healing Sounds - Heal Your Brain Fast w/ Binaural Beats - Meditation Music
    Hahhaa, I can already imagine how she just shakes her head because of that new age mumbo jumbo :D. But I'll stay open, you never know how open she really is. Don't wanna push the probs in that direction :D.
So I'll be in company with her, not judging or interpreting. With a loving and caring Intent and learning how to get into her reality to be more helpful. I'll may update from time to time how she is doing. BTW the relationship with her is so beautiful I can just cry from love. Gratitude and Love! I love you!

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PostPosted: Fri Sep 06, 2019 9:32 am 
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A good friend of mine's mother had Alzheimer. She really enjoyed watching old movies. Mostly movies from the 50s that were very happy. That is something to think about. If your grandmother enjoys music, find out what kind she likes and get some CDs for her. If she is hard of hearing an iPod might work.


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PostPosted: Sun Sep 15, 2019 6:48 am 
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Sainbury - And for some people, it is a good way to ease out of the world.


This is my take on it also. At first my mother had a lot of fear traversing two realitys. Towards the end she had accepted it and was very serene.

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PostPosted: Tue Sep 17, 2019 2:35 am 
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A little update:

She seems to be more clear, since the healing request was posted. She does recall way more things and can follow everything without asking the same question over and over. She seems happier and balanced and more relaxed. She smiles way more intense and has more energy.
Thank you for all your efforts, it's really helpful <3.

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