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Looks like we have an interesting thread developing here. One way to perhaps put a little more meat into it might be to reply to some of Tom's actual requests. He initially wrote in the intro to the thread that he would like some feedback to help him decide how valuable we think his new book would be which, in turn, will help him decide how hard to work on the book and in what direction he should take it. In one instance he specifically stated: “It would be interesting here also to explore what a non-male dominant culture would look like and how we might evolve to a Gender Equal Value System culture or something other.”
Michael
I need to get my book out there then.
Love
Bette
In some male cultures, physical size and being the boss translates into the men using that decision space to feed their Paleo impulses and take advantage of and constrain the decision space of the females (or children), who are physically disadvantaged by physical size and materially disadvantaged by being tied to pregnancy and childrearing.
In other male cultures physical size translates into "better able to protect the females". Having power and the corner office meant "my wife is able to stay at home and be with the children as she desires".
When my father in law asked his father in law for permission to marry the latter's daughter, he made him promise that his daughter would never be asked to take a job outside the home. In that era and context, a good
man protected his wife from the outside world.
Ironically, the daughter was more educated than either of the dudes, being a female with an M.A. in the 40s, and she probably would have been happier with a career, but she had 4 kids instead and then her daughters fulfilled her desire for career, and neither had children. So many of us are correcting and over-correcting for our parents lives. Anyhoo, their hearts were in the right place regarding intent.
So first we have to figure out what do people actually want and need at the unflexible primordial level, belief and somewhat flexible nuture taken out of the equation. Equality does not have to be sameism. Difference does not mean oppression.
Difference is driven by biology but interpreted by quality. Biologically driven differences drift then into second order pragmatic differences. Then you throw the higher ruleset into the equation.
Lets say a family has a rental property and three kids to raise. Running a rental property involves a lot of tough love as well as sometimes needing to simply be tough, and stepping back from sheltering unmotivated individuals from their PMR feedback. This is hard to do for soft hearts. Same dynamic for anyone in management or the corner office.
Raising children is mostly a soft heart enterprise. The thing is, if women are predisposed to soft heart'ism through hemispheric balance, and men are predisposed to tougher love and sometimes course actions of capitalism through left hemispheric dominance, who do you send on each mission, who is better suited? In this way, specialisation can merely be rational cooperative efficiency, when looked at the from the level of the family.
The materialist egoist feminist, looks at this and sees oppression. Indeed, in high entropy environments, this is the case, and indeed, in such an environment, the gal is wiser to get an education or trade or business, and be independent, as the males behave more like "enemy" than cooperators.
In less entropic environments, the female may find it more efficient to let the dude dial up the coarser family tasks (such as bond trading and taking out the garbage), and she dials up the more subtle social aspects of managing the marriage, raising the children's consciousness, plotting the family's position within social hierarchies.
This does not now normally translate into classic stay-at-home-mom, but may translate into turning down an offer for a high pressure corporate position that would suck up all her oxygen. Like my neighbour who's husband was paliative with a few weeks to live, and her boss sends her to Europe for a meeting.
The Peter Principle and the Peter Solution come to mind. People tend to take promotions up to the point of reaching a level of incompetence. The solution is to not take that last promotion available within your decision space.
I actually worked on teams that were all-girl and girl managed. They really got a kick out of putting males in role reversal situations, such as having buff young guys as admin assistants, or asking the old guy (that would be me) to get the coffee. They were also completely perplexed regarding why they were mostly all single or divorced, or why their kids required psychiatric medicine to get through the day.
There are also weirdly unneurotic gals out there who do it all, and do it all very competently and effortlessly. Part of this is being "gender blind" and not even being aware of gender in the office environment, similar to the concept of "color blindness".
Beyond gender blindness would be gender sensitivity, not from the point of view of "don't tread on me", but rather from the point of view of being sensitive to gender differences with the intent of having the most efficient, love-based interaction possible. Loving intent within the office creates groups with cooperative efficiency, and cooperative groups rule.