The paradigm shift is very difficult. I have listened to hours and hours of Tom's lectures, and am currently finishing book 2, but still, the idea of a VR is difficult to grasp at a gut level. A couple of days ago I was jogging and it crossed my mind that nothing around me was "real" in the sense of fundamental or objective, and it was very strange to do it, to really grasp the notion that this is a simulation. Because then the ego started questioning immediately "But..., but..., if this isn't real, then where am I?"
the key here is to separate accepted mainstream physics from Tom's value added. Most of what is strange is actually materially proven.
The VR model is merely the only theory that plausibly fits the observable data, and we are not yet into Tom-land down the rabbit hole with this with PSI and Tom's neo-Theology.
this is a fundamental thing...that what we are discussing here is not some fun kooky theory, it will remain with you and be true, regardless of what you do with Tom's information.
It like the typical professor when introducing quantum physics says "if you don't find this information to be disturbing, you don't yet understand it".
the other side of this is once you know and understand the mechanics and underground world of Disneyworld, you kinda have to put this out of your mind and enjoy the rides.
Ultimately, its real enough, and the plumbing of reality does not actually affect the substantive and fundamental realness of relationships. The IOUC behind each FWAU is real...and eternal.
As Tom says, dial up your interest in the actors on the stage, and dial down your preoccupation with shifting around the props on the stage.