I can´t seem to get to a deeper level and find out why it increaes my fear if people are arrogant and hostile to me about this and trying to ridicule me.
To break your mindfulness and illicit aggression or anger, your flight or fight response likely gets activated. That's a physiological response to feeling threatened.
A good place to start is to ask yourself in these situations, "what part of me feels threatened?", which calls awareness onto yourself. The answer is fundamentally a personal one and getting in tune with your emotional state will probably yield insight. I don't doubt that you may feel strongly about animals but the scenario you describe also points to ego and the reasons for reacting in that way may be very complex or convoluted. For example, people may have a constructed identity of themselves and when aspects of that identity are challenged or undermined, they feel frustration or fear at the lack of social approval. Or maybe they hold a certain paradigm of understanding and interfacing with the world that provides them comfort or security and fear when that world-view is challenged. Maybe, when there is disagreement over basic moral standards in social situations, you fear the other person because you no longer trust them or their way of thinking. Maybe it's a culmination of all the above and more.
As a fellow vegan...how to you stay calm when people make fun about baby chickens beeing shreddered or stuff like that ?
I try to recognize where they are coming from and consider all the potential factors that might make them act or feel that way. Even social norms for meat eaters might be to take pride in or be callous in the face of vegans who they might prematurely identify as a threat from what preconceptions they've seen in media. But it is also the case that despite what people say, or parrot in prideful behavior regarding meat eating, they still would likely have an aversive reaction to baby chickens actually being shredded if it happened in front of them. The issue is largely cognitive dissonance here and you should recognize that.
But recognizing that isn't what provides me calmness. I don't try to control things and I am open minded about morality an different ways of living. Consider that in MBT, there can be different ways that an avatar can reduce entropy than being a human with a central nervous system to express love for social cohesion -- and that we find ourselves first in a world where organisms eat other organisms and may live terrible lives of suffering despite that not
being the most optimal way of evolving. The LCS does not seem to share our conventional interpretation of love and morality there despite Tom's personification of it in ways that relate to us. What we are left with is a vague notion that the love "out there" is a superset of this one we are experiencing now in our human avatar's stage of evolution. I don't care about morality. I have a natural aversion towards consuming flesh and animal products and also hurting animals, so I don't do it.
I rephrased it, but Tom also eats a mostly vegan diet when he has the choice and it does not get too inconvenient to do so. He has also stated that it is the right thing to do as soon as you understood that there is a moral question involved. He also said that if he is invited somewhere he will just be polite and eat whatever he is offered, because it is the less entropic choice for him.
I see what you are saying but I disagree. Tom's overarching moral principle is regarding entropy reduction. This can manifest as a rejection to factory farming animals or animal products but in a social situation where the animal is already dead and served up, at the risk of offending the person, Tom might just choose to eat it in a context for social cohesion - especially if eating it does not accentuate the problem of factory farming to any degree other than a negligible to non-existent on.
Do you see how this relates to my above comment and how Tom doesn't share the same ideas of morality as you do.
it feels like betryel to the cause if I were able to live life "without caring" about these things.
I don't think anyone is telling you that you shouldn't care. Only exercise awareness and productivity in your interactions. You can argue if you want but maybe there would be better options.