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PostPosted: Tue Aug 13, 2019 11:43 am 
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Joined: Wed Aug 07, 2019 3:36 pm
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Hi there!

First time posting on here. Been lurking for a bit, but hoping to get some insight and opinions.
Lately I have a really hard time not doing anything. I feel like I always have to be constantly working on something or being productive. Thinking about it, I feel like it might be related to fear of wasting time and not doing enough. I have a hard time watching TV or doing anything that I feel like doesn't really benefit me in some sort of growth.

Is this good for me? It's pushing me to be productive and be more careful of my time. But, it's also restricting me from just relaxing and enjoying a movie with my wife and kids.

Thanks for reading!

- Lane


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 14, 2019 8:03 am 
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I have never claimed, nor do I consider myself, to be a "teacher" on this forum. I am a student of life and continue with lessons learned through the prism of consciousness. It is a daily work-in-progress of self-reflection, reflection of others, feedback and the resulting choices that one makes. Awareness plays an important role in the outcome of the decision to choose the direction of one's "experience packet". Awareness of those actualized past choices is,in part, a link to the questions that you pose.
Quote:

First time posting on here. Been lurking for a bit, but hoping to get some insight and opinions.
Lately I have a really hard time not doing anything. I feel like I always have to be constantly working on something or being productive. Thinking about it, I feel like it might be related to fear of wasting time and not doing enough. I have a hard time watching TV or doing anything that I feel like doesn't really benefit me in some sort of growth.
Do you know why, in the past, you had a hard time doing anything, wasting time and not doing enough?
Quote:
Is this good for me? It's pushing me to be productive and be more careful of my time.
Only you can answer that question. Is it a good for you to forego spending quality time with family?
Quote:
But, it's also restricting me from just relaxing and enjoying a movie with my wife and kids.
Since when is quality time spent relaxing and enjoying a movie with family non-productive? Why are you restricting you from just relaxing and enjoying a movie with your wife and kids? Years ago, I received a lesson in time management; a balance of priorities.


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 14, 2019 8:40 am 
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Joined: Sat Feb 06, 2010 6:54 pm
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Location: Ocala, FL
I think you have to ask yourself if being unable to relax is coming from some kind of fear. And if so that is where you have to start.

I have been around people who have to always be doing something and cannot just sit down and relax. It is exhausting to be around them. So, maybe a discussion with your family on how this effects them may be a catalyst in your desire to address this.


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PostPosted: Fri Aug 16, 2019 5:55 pm 
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Hi lane, I have some of those feelings all of the time, basically mine is the fear of failure to maximize my learning potential in my current character , what helped me is to wake up at 4:30am , down a cup of black coffee, take a mouth full of C60, take a dropper full of CBD, maybe.. somedays.. take a hit off a joint, take 3 advil- because I am about 50 :) and take a 2 hour walk on a empty player field, everything is brand new and ready for the start of a new day, no animals are yet awake.... and no humans are yet awake to putrefy the new.. I can talk to and thank the wind for the breeze and can thank my guides and helpers and notify them of how I think of their training sofar, most of the time I think they are being way to light and I want them to light the GD fire and give me some actual training, then they do and it scrambles my brain :) What you feel is fear and there is nothing wrong with what you feel,, you will eventually get over that fear. From experience,, Enjoy!!!!!! the time with your wife and kids it wont last long!!!!!! it will seem like days. Stressing out about anything doesn't help and you may just be feeling whats on the way in the near feature from the sun to bitch slap the human race mostly out of existence one again.

-Toby


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PostPosted: Sun Aug 18, 2019 10:27 pm 
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I am the same way. Just recently I have felt more settled than in the past...

Its very complex the elements that are involved in this temperament. A part of it is a psychological tendency that maybe too overpowering or habituated. Another part of it for me is the curse of inspiration, and then the insanity to undertake the oath. A sense of responsibility seems to come attached with it all. These factors could be mostly positive, but along with these I have a chip on my shoulder to "prove myself" that is coming from a place of hurt. I had a traumatic breakup when I was young with my baby moma, and the way I coped was being productive. I think that is a pretty common. I once saw this clip of millionaire, who growing up could never do anything that was good enough for his father, after he became a millionaire he went to see his father who was on his death bed, and he asked his father if he was proud of him, and his father said, 'no'. The millionaire went on to explain that that was when he realized what was driving him his whole life.

I do think in a sneaky way we basically get what we want in life (or more than we realize). Most of the time people want a scattering array of opposing things that pulls the progress in all sorts of recursive directions; and we don't always understand what we are really asking for.

I think we over time set implicit expectations for ourselves that basically sells our soul so to speak, and when you sell your soul you never really realize what you are signing up for. There are so many prerequisites we were not aware of, just for everything to have a chance to align, and from this comes restlessness -which is really the natural result of risk (fear), one might stay in the abyss of potential. Its the nature of this type of challenge; squandered effort, false paths, second guessing, and no assurance.

For me, I finally acknowledged (let some innocence die), "I can't be all things" - some inspirations must be sorted and put into its proper place in a larger perspective. It is going to take time to explore what you could be, but at some point, you have to put some version of what you are into action and accept that brutality that comes with that.

Some people may give the advice that the drive for success is fueled mostly by the ego, but for me that just adds another layer of doubt and second guessing. I rather take the position, that its not so much a matter of questioning the drive, but rather its about staying congruent, and playing to win the right way, with no resentment, frustration, cheating, self destruction or squandering. Developing this skill allows for the distinction between drive coming from a good place or hurt place.

Finally for me, instead of being a conglomerate of potential, I am now having some success with a business and slowly building confidence as I can apply past efforts in a useful way. This also gives a better sense of perspective, that there was no faster way for me to get to where I am, I choose a path that took a lot of early ground work that I was inevitability going to feel lost during those times of under performing what could be.

This is just how I relate... If you are talking about this from more of a spiritual angle, that kind of stuff finds you.


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