I have to deal with. the most important question i have is, how do I, as a spiritual interested person, deal with a real physical threat, without becoming evil?
You have a right to defend yourself. You cannot be evil for simply defending yourself against a direct physical threat. Many of the martial arts are based in part in the principle that self defense is a spiritual act.
This is what I mean by value yourself. Who, I wonder has been suggesting to you that to defend yourself is evil? Think about it from as many perspectives as you can, both personally and collectively, if your intent is to find where and what is evil you’ll undoubtedly find it and then you’ll know what to do.
Or, to say it better, what is my room for maneuver? can i still stand for a cause if I think it's right and good, even if others have to suffer. Do I have to take everyone's consideration?
You would be wise to always stand for what you think is right and good. How would you learn what is right and good if you never stand for anything? Just be willing and able to change when or if you get new information.
It is usually a good idea to take as many things into consideration as possible but consider the possibility that everyone getting what they want
might not and often is not the best thing for them even if they are claiming that it is what they need