Return Home
It is currently Fri Aug 07, 2020 6:29 pm

All times are UTC-06:00


Forum rules


Do not make an initial post to start a new thread on this forum once you advance beyond the beginner level of posts. This forum is an experiment with the purpose of encouraging the participation of those who have so far only hung out in the background and looked over the bulletin board. It is intended to be a place where things are orderly for beginners without the free interaction of the main board. Post only with care for the recognition that we are welcoming a new member and not arguing with a fellow old timer. Your cooperation is appreciated.



Post new topic  Reply to topic  [ 35 posts ]  Go to page 1 2 3 Next
Author Message
PostPosted: Fri May 20, 2011 9:19 pm 
Offline
Frequent Poster
Frequent Poster

Joined: Sun Nov 14, 2010 10:22 pm
Posts: 83
Location: Louisville, ky
My wife is talking about divorce. She seems very bent on breaking up, and getting her own place. There is little doubt that we will get back together (we've been on and off (al-mostly on) together since age 14 of this lifetime), but more confusion dealing with how to deal. It seems losing her is the thing I fear most (other than fear), so the LCS is dangling that possibility, seeing how I will react. We are currently still living together, making awkward preparations for her moving out.

She is my strongest attachment in this reality frame, and has been extremely valuable. I've been working third shift at UPS and she works 2nd shift at a restaurant. I'm trying to get transferred to a different shift really badly. She works 2nd shift, and i want to blame that as a part of what is hurting our relationship, although ultimately, my reality is left up to me to figure out and stop blaming.

This is my toughest challenge so far, we are like twins almost. I met her off the internet. She only had a close-up picture of her eye at the time. I knew she was the One, ever since the day I met her.

_________________
.


Top
PostPosted: Fri May 20, 2011 9:35 pm 
Offline
Power Poster
Power Poster
User avatar

Joined: Thu Sep 11, 2008 10:35 am
Posts: 9999
Location: Ridgecrest, CA
It sounds like you have "lost" her before, and it ended up working out. How did you handle it the previous break-ups? Do you think a divorce will be different than just breaking up again? How long have you two been married? Sometimes you just have to let go, and trust that it will work out. Having said all that I am also sorry, and am very happy to not have anymore of this type drama in my life anymore. What do you think will be best for her?
Love
Bette

_________________
All That Is
what is?
Consciousness.


Top
PostPosted: Sat May 21, 2011 3:43 am 
Offline
Frequent Poster
Frequent Poster

Joined: Sun Nov 14, 2010 10:22 pm
Posts: 83
Location: Louisville, ky
It is becoming clearer, although it is still a challenge. But then again, I signed up for it. We will both continue to grow, and take whatever steps needed to get back home.
Thank you bette, am feeling much better now :-)

_________________
.


Top
PostPosted: Sat May 21, 2011 9:11 am 
Offline
Power Poster
Power Poster
User avatar

Joined: Thu Sep 11, 2008 10:35 am
Posts: 9999
Location: Ridgecrest, CA
You are welcome sweetie, I'm glad.
Love
Bette

_________________
All That Is
what is?
Consciousness.


Top
PostPosted: Sat May 21, 2011 1:12 pm 
Offline
Power Poster
Power Poster
User avatar

Joined: Sat May 31, 2008 5:54 pm
Posts: 2088
jordantc,

let me tell you a story about my son and his wife.

They have met in high school. My son was 16 and she was 15. She was very religious, and a couple of times she broke up with him saying, that I love you too much, more, than I love Jesus, and this is not right. They went their own ways, after her parents moved to another part of a city, and she did go to another school. I don't think, that they kept in touch during their college years. My son became an agnostic, and any mentioning of religion would make him run away and never come back. A year after his college graduation he called her and they started dating again. She still was religious, but it was much better, than years back. Gradually her religious beliefs were wearing out, and now, nine years later, she is not religious at all. He was patient with her beliefs, and she didn't force them on him, as it was in a high school. My son told her in high school, that he knows, that he wants to marry only her. She laughed at him, but I think, that his love to her made him to find her again, be patient and grow together. But it could happen, when both of them had their separate experiences, met different people, and were able to see, that they love each other.

I would not lose a hope, but let your wife go now. She needs to explore on her own, so, be supportive. Try to be busy, find something to do, except your job. It helps to go on with your life, when you are busy. Extend your decision space, see what is interesting to you and go for it.

Lena

_________________
'Real knowledge is to know the extent of ones ignorance.' Confucius.


Top
PostPosted: Sat May 21, 2011 10:17 pm 
Offline
Power Poster
Power Poster
User avatar

Joined: Wed Oct 06, 2010 7:20 am
Posts: 269
Location: Near Boston
I recently broke up with my girlfriend, whom I was very close with. However, every time I asked my intuition what I should do; the response was a clear and simple "let her go." I have found my intuition to always be clear, simple, and sometimes almost obvious. It seems different from my own thoughts too somehow... that I cant quite put into words, but I feel as though it's not me producing the thoughts. So, what does your intuition say?

_________________
Are you sure it was Adam really typing this? If it helps you out, does that even matter?


Top
PostPosted: Sun May 22, 2011 12:24 am 
Offline
Power Poster
Power Poster
User avatar

Joined: Fri Jun 18, 2010 5:30 pm
Posts: 1058
Location: New York City
Jordan,
I feel your pain brother. But Im here to say that divorce is not the end of the world. Besides you should know by now that the things we fear the most are the things we need to face.
My wife (the second one) threatens me with divorce every other week, lol. I tell her "okay, if your not happy with me you should go and find your happiness. Everyone deserves to be happy. Ive been married before and Ive been divorced before and I know I will be okay." ... and we are still together after 18 yrs. But If she really wanted to go, I know, I have to let her go and wish her well. If you love someone, set them free.

_________________
LOVE is the answer

peace
patrick


Top
PostPosted: Sun May 22, 2011 3:37 am 
Offline
Frequent Poster
Frequent Poster

Joined: Sun Nov 14, 2010 10:22 pm
Posts: 83
Location: Louisville, ky
Thank you, all, for the support. i have turned "weird" since last spring, and it took us both by surprise. There is little doubt that we need space at this point, we all need room to grow. It'll be more efficient to maximize potential, on both ends.

_________________
.


Top
PostPosted: Sun May 22, 2011 9:54 am 
Offline
Power Poster
Power Poster
User avatar

Joined: Thu Sep 11, 2008 10:35 am
Posts: 9999
Location: Ridgecrest, CA
Quote:
i have turned "weird" since last spring, and it took us both by surprise.
From MBT?
Love
Bette

_________________
All That Is
what is?
Consciousness.


Top
PostPosted: Sun May 22, 2011 7:30 pm 
Offline
Frequent Poster
Frequent Poster

Joined: Sun Nov 14, 2010 10:22 pm
Posts: 83
Location: Louisville, ky
in part yes, but mostly failing to heed to the warning of not taking psychotropic drugs. It launched me into inner space, and I turned out to be bozo the clown to lots of people. Now, I'm just trying to pick up the pieces. The fear part I get, but relating to other people is still very difficult for me, without wanting to push either my issues or my worldview on them. My diet is getting closer to Tom's suggestion, but it weirds my family out, and my wife before she decided we should break up. Now I'm just the other half of her that seems confident in what he is doing (which is certainly not always the case), while she is still the same old her minus her husband.We are still living together at my grandparents house (they are out of town right now), and it ranges from being fine to being miserable on a whim. There is so much ego attachment between us, which used to work good but now not so much. I see her problems in a bright light, but easily forget that bright light is just as much on me if not more. It is so easy to get drawn back to the old way of being. Spent a couple of days in a rehab center after LSD, and really freaked her out for awhile with my consciousness talk and antics. Now that I want it more than ever, she is fed up and seeking comfort of other men interactions, which makes sense. I set this in motion, it is what I deserve. Just another challenge to overcome. It helps talking about it here, so much.

_________________
.


Top
PostPosted: Sun May 22, 2011 8:03 pm 
Offline
Power Poster
Power Poster
User avatar

Joined: Thu Sep 11, 2008 10:35 am
Posts: 9999
Location: Ridgecrest, CA
Quote:
It helps talking about it here, so much.
I found that to be true concerning my own personal experiences with life, it is cathartic, safe, plus it helps to put things into so many words. <3
Love
Bette

_________________
All That Is
what is?
Consciousness.


Top
PostPosted: Sun May 22, 2011 9:12 pm 
Offline
Curator
Curator
User avatar

Joined: Tue Oct 21, 2003 6:16 pm
Posts: 11788
Location: Fort Oglethorpe, Georgia
But the purpose of our being here is the quality of our interactions here, our interactions with others. Not our possible learning about the nature of this reality and of the Consciousness System underlying it. Knowledge of My Big TOE is not a replacement for proper interactions with others here in PMR. Not that you are treating your wife improperly and unfairly as I have no knowledge of this what so ever and as someone divorced, I have been saying nothing to encourage your separation or to encourage you to remain together. I just advise you to not forget what is the real purpose of our being here.

Ted


Top
PostPosted: Sun May 22, 2011 9:16 pm 
Offline
Normal User
Normal User
User avatar

Joined: Mon Nov 08, 2010 10:26 am
Posts: 24
Location: Madison, Wisconsin
Quote:
in part yes, but mostly failing to heed to the warning of not taking psychotropic drugs. It launched me into inner space, and I turned out to be bozo the clown to lots of people. Now, I'm just trying to pick up the pieces. The fear part I get, but relating to other people is still very difficult for me, without wanting to push either my issues or my worldview on them. My diet is getting closer to Tom's suggestion, but it weirds my family out, and my wife before she decided we should break up. Now I'm just the other half of her that seems confident in what he is doing (which is certainly not always the case), while she is still the same old her minus her husband.We are still living together at my grandparents house (they are out of town right now), and it ranges from being fine to being miserable on a whim. There is so much ego attachment between us, which used to work good but now not so much. I see her problems in a bright light, but easily forget that bright light is just as much on me if not more. It is so easy to get drawn back to the old way of being. Spent a couple of days in a rehab center after LSD, and really freaked her out for awhile with my consciousness talk and antics. Now that I want it more than ever, she is fed up and seeking comfort of other men interactions, which makes sense. I set this in motion, it is what I deserve. Just another challenge to overcome. It helps talking about it here, so much.
Hi Jordan.

I haven't chimed in much on the board, but I do enjoy your posts and honor the exploration you've begun. I hope you don't mind my posting here. It sounds like you are going through a very tough time. But, like others have said before, letting go can be a very liberating thing. It sounds like it might be tougher for you (if she was there) to lower your own entropy through that relationship. So in a large picture this might be best for your inner being?

I apologize if I'm being to forward. When you love, you risk the chance of being hurt. It doesn't make the sting any less....even so, you have all these great tools I'm sure you're reading about and incorporating into your daily life from MBT.

It is easy for me to forget having kids, wife, family, house, work...that all of this is just a video game (or so to speak) and I need to try and watch myself moment to moment and work on what I can control, myself. Even though it sucks right now, be sure to keep taking good, hard looks at yourself and spending time with yourself. Be creative in whatever it is you are creative with! And be thankful that you've had this time with her and what you've learned. You and her might reunite, but best to work on yourself, and take it in as just part of your consciousness trip.

Again...I apologize if I am poking my nose in where it shouldn't be. I've walked down some of the same paths and vaguely understand the emotions and thoughts that you might be experiencing. More to the point, this too shall pass.

Good luck Jordan, I'm sending positive thoughts your way.

Mark

_________________
Write down your dreams. They are your myths.


Top
PostPosted: Sun May 22, 2011 9:57 pm 
Offline
Frequent Poster
Frequent Poster

Joined: Sun Nov 14, 2010 10:22 pm
Posts: 83
Location: Louisville, ky
Thank you all, this place really helps. It's getting better. Sorry for the wordiness, and appreciation for recycling of my toxic waste, yet again :-)

_________________
.


Top
PostPosted: Mon May 23, 2011 12:16 am 
Offline
Newbie
Newbie

Joined: Mon Oct 05, 2009 8:59 am
Posts: 8
Quote:
My wife is talking about divorce. ...bent on breaking up, and getting her own place. ... more confusion dealing with how to deal. It seems losing her is the thing I fear most (other than fear), so the LCS is dangling that possibility, seeing how I will react. We are currently still living together, making awkward preparations for her moving out.
Sounds like a test, let's hope you pass it!
Quote:
She is my strongest attachment in this reality frame, and has been extremely valuable. ... She works 2nd shift, and i want to blame that as a part of what is hurting our relationship, although ultimately, my reality is left up to me to figure out and stop blaming. ... This is my toughest challenge so far ... I knew she was the One, ever since the day I met her.
She seems to need some freedom.
Quote:
... I asked my intuition what I should do; the response was a clear and simple "let her go." I have found my intuition to always be clear, simple, and sometimes almost obvious. It seems different from my own thoughts too somehow... that I cant quite put into words, but I feel as though it's not me producing the thoughts. So, what does your intuition say?
It's not just "female" intuition or "women's" intuition, from my own personal experience, some men seem to have it too.
Quote:
... She was very religious, and a couple of times she broke up with him saying, that I love you too much, more, than I love Jesus, and this is not right. ...My son became an agnostic, and any mentioning of religion would make him run away and never come back. ... now, nine years later, she is not religious at all. He was patient with her beliefs, and she didn't force them on him, as it was in a high school. ... his love to her made him to find her again, be patient and grow together. But it could happen, when both of them had their separate experiences, met different people, and were able to see, that they love each other.

I would not lose a hope, but let your wife go now. She needs to explore on her own, so, be supportive. Try to be busy, find something to do, except your job. It helps to go on with your life, when you are busy. Extend your decision space, see what is interesting to you and go for it.
Bashar- follow your excitement.
Quote:
... divorce is not the end of the world. Besides you should know by now that the things we fear the most are the things we need to face. .... Everyone deserves to be happy. . .. I know I will be okay." ... and we are still together after 18 yrs. But If she really wanted to go, I know, I have to let her go and wish her well. If you love someone, set them free.
Right on, brother Patrick!


Top
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic  Reply to topic  [ 35 posts ]  Go to page 1 2 3 Next

All times are UTC-06:00


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 0 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Jump to:  
Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Limited