[My Big TOE Definition]

Love, the opposite of fear, is about other – it is creatively expressed as compassion toward, and caring about, other.

Love expresses itself in terms of service and value to others. Love is awareness expressing an intention to be caring, helpful, and useful to others.

Compassion and caring, service and value, being helpful and useful to others are the results of awareness acting on a love-based intent, which by definition is also a fearless intent. Love is the fundamental nature of a low-entropy consciousness.

When you eliminate a “normal” being’s high-entropy fear, their ego and beliefs also drop away and what you have left is an exceptionally low-entropy being of love. Thus, love as used in My Big TOE extends much beyond the concept expressed by the English word love (related most strongly to Eros). It rather comprises most of the other aspects expressed in other languages, including such concepts as compassion, caring, and empathy.

Love is about other, fear is about self

Love is something you give – without expectations, without requirements, without any strings attached. Love is dependent only on you, not on another person returning your love. It only takes one to love. The word ‘love’ should never have to be qualified as ‘unconditional’ – unconditional love is the only love there is. If it’s not unconditional, it’s not love.

Thus, what we usually call romantic love is not love as defined by My Big TOE. Romantic love implies need. Love is given away at the being level while need is negotiated at the intellectual level.

Love vs self-love

It is often said, “you have to love yourself before you can love others.” What this really means is that you must not feel negative about yourself.

If love is about other, it can’t be about self. Loving yourself is called narcissism and is very dysfunctional. Not feeling negative about yourself is necessary and the first step to growing up and getting rid of your fears. It’s difficult to give to others if you believe you have nothing to offer.

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